Deaf [A One Direction Fanfic] -Amy's Adventures Book 1- #Wattys2014

Chapter 22

~Niall's POV~

I sit in my hospital room, staring at the wall as images flash before my eyes. Louis and Harry are asleep, but every time I close my eyes I see bad images of the one memory of Greg I have. I feel the pain of him shocking me, and the fear of him doing it again, since he still has the ability. But when my eyes are open, I'm pelted by distorted images of the years I've forgotten. For a split second I see Liam wearing a snapback and smiling at a crowd, then the image is replaced by Zayn with a blond streak in his hair. I see Harry shirtless with two birds on his chest, then Louis with a pigeon on his shoulder that my mind fills in with the name Kevin. But none of the images are clear, every one is blurry. Some are so blurry I can't even make out who it is, like someone who appears to be sitting in a shopping cart, possibly wearing sunglasses, and some the background is blurred out but the main focus is clear, like an image of a tattoo on Zayn's arm that says ZAP! Every few happy pictures a scary one is thrown in, some before Greg and some after. I see Greg slicing my arm with a knife, then an image of being on the ground surrounded by people, which makes my claustrophobia act up. I see Greg bringing his fist toward my face, then find myself standing on stage at the X-Factor, hugging a sad Liam. That picture stays for a while instead of switching, and I know that that must be when we were on the finals. The pictures fade out and I find myself in someone's arms, shaking.

"Niall, it's okay. Don't be scared." Harry says into my ear, rocking me back and forth. I whimper as the bad images come to mind. Even though there were more good things, the bad ones stand out. One image in particular is glued in my mind: A sign, held above the crowd, saying that I don't deserve to be in the band.

"Why do they hate me?" I whisper into Harry's shoulder, thinking about the many memories of hate I just received. He sucks in a breath and slowly pulls away from me, looking me in the eyes.

"You remembered the hate, didn't you." Harry says. It isn't a question, but I nod anyways, still shaking like a leaf.

"I got little flashes of good things and bad things. There were more good things, but the bad stuff stuck out more, ya know? That's the stuff I really remember. Twitter hate, fans not including me, signs saying I shouldn't be in the band. That's the things that stick through all the good stuff." I say. Harry nods, his face shadowed.

"That's how we all feel, how we felt every day. We all would go on Twitter and see hundreds off happy messages, but it's the one hate message we read that we actually remembered. I'm not surprised that that's what stuck out from the mess you just learned, because it makes sense, Niall. Just don't dwell on it, because whenever you do you get depressed, and we need our happy little leprechaun right now more than ever." Harry says, biting his lip a bit. I scrunch up my nose at the nickname, and Harry laughs, poking it. "You look so cute when you do that. I know for you it hasn't been long, but it's been months for me, and I missed you, Nialler." I smile and lean forward, pulling my curly-haired friend into a hug.

"You grew up, Hazza. You're still the youngest, but you don't act young anymore. I guess I'm mentally the youngest, since my brain is still convinced I'm sixteen, but I know I'm not, because I know I grew up, too." I say, looking into Harry's green eyes. He smiles, ruffling my hair, and I pout a bit, making him laugh.

"You're innocent now, and that's what Liam was scared of. Greg made you grow up from our sweet little Niall, he made you different. We know you need to remember, but we don't want you to lose that innocence that you had again." Harry says, tears welling up in his eyes.

 I will remember what Greg said and did, no matter how much it hurts. Because I have to figure out what he wants with Liam, with all of us. I lived though it once, I can live through it again. For Liam." I say wholeheartedly, flashing Harry a grin. He grins back, pushing me down into the hospital bed.

"Get some rest, Nialler. Maybe you'll remember something." Harry says. I nod, closing my eye. This bandage is annoying, and my other eye is stuck closed right now. Harry hums something I don't recognize quietly, pausing at one point then picking up again. I wonder if that's one of our songs...

"Don't you dare disobey me." Greg shouts, kicking me in the side. I whimper in pain, unable to see a thing. I'm tied up, blindfolded, and gagged, and Greg is taking out his anger on me for something else I apparently did. "If you disobey me, I will kill Liam, remember?" He threatens, and I nod, going limp. I'm picked up and carried for a while, then thrown onto the ground again, hard. I whimper again when Greg grabs a fistful of my hair, pulling me up. My head pounds and my arm aches, I think it's broken again. The gag is pulled out of my mouth and Greg laughs, tossing me again. I land on something that's slightly softer than the ground and I start to shake when he pulls my shirt up to my neck.

"P-Please, don't..." I whisper, my voice weak and hoarse. Greg just laughs, and I feel a pain across my face as he slaps me.

"You listen to me or I kill him. I know exactly where he is, and the only reason he isn't dead is because you're here instead. Remember that, you worthless brat. You're only here for your little 'friend'." Greg says, right into my ear. I squirm away from him, but he puts a hand on my shoulder to keep me in place. His breath runs across my neck as he laughs, and a blade is pressed into my back. He carves something that I'll never be able to see, then reopens the cuts on my arms and legs. He rolls me over and cuts into my chest near my ribs, making multiple marks before pulling my shirt farther up until it's over my head and hanging on my bound arms. I feel a cold hand on my chest and shiver, and Greg's breath gets closer to my face. I start breathing more frantically, then his lips touch mine and I shut my mouth tightly. Greg gets frustrated and punches my side, right on a cut, and I can't help but scream. As soon as my mouth is open Greg's tongue is in it, and I squirm more, screaming as well as I can. He pulls away and a cloth goes over my mouth, making me drowsy as I continue to breath heavily, unable to control myself. "I told you to listen..." Greg's voice fades away as I drift off.

I open my eyes to find myself back in the hospital bed, breathing heavily. Louis, Zayn, and Harry are all standing in front of me, concerned. I bury my head in my hands, trying not to cry. I feel a hand on my shoulder and flinch, thinking about the memory I just dreamed. "Did you have a nightmare, Niall?" Harry asks. I shake my head quickly, and I can feel everyone getting confused.

"It wasn't a nightmare." I mumble into my hands. "It was a memory." Harry starts pressing me for what happened, but I refuse to tell him. I can't, I can't, I can't. Because I'm pretty sure I know what happened after Greg knocked me out, and I can't tell them. They won't look at me the same or think about me the same. And as much as Harry was right, I don't want to remember anymore, I still have to, for Liam. Everything is for Liam. And I will remember what happened so I can tell him what Greg said, why Greg wants him dead. Even if it means reliving getting raped.