Jasper's Roommate

Chapter One

Mr. Gregories is a hard boss. He's difficult to please, a perfectionist, a bad communicator, a micro manager, and the worst: he had little to no handle on his emotions.

So basically like most bosses I have had. Welcome to America, right?

But sometimes it got to me.

Like today.

I know. I should just forget about it. I should have expected it, it happens all the time.

But here I am anyway, curled up in a ball on top of my comforter, my face smooshed into my pillow, crying my eyes out. I'm shaking and gasping with sobs. It's so bad that I can't keep all the noise in. My roommate might hear me.

It's really not even that big a deal.

But depression doesn't always listen to reason.

I messed up some orders at work. Mixed two up and ended up giving them to the wrong customers.

And it ended up okay. They were both nice and traded each other, laughing and smiling at me and waving their hands like it was "no big deal."

Mr. Gregories came in around the end before they could leave. He pulled them to the side (they were about to walk out the door!) and apologized profusely to them about me. It was humiliating.

After they had gone, he came for me.

He said I needed to be more careful (obviously) and that this business ran on accurate customer care (I made a mistake, it happens!!!) and that we couldn't afford for big mistakes like that to happen.

I guess it doesn't sound all that bad but his face was turning redder and redder and he was flinging the words at me and he kept getting closer and closer.

It was kind of intimidating. I was a little scared. And hurt. He made me feel worthless and incompetent.

Over a mistake.

That I fixed!!

And really, it wasn't just this. It was a lot of things, built up. Another round of tears gush out. I know, I know in my head, I'm just too stressed, but it feels like there's no way out. With how difficult school is and this hard job and trying to manage money. It's just too much right now.

I hear a soft tapping at my door. I sit up and smash my eyes against my eyes, rubbing them hard.

"Come in," I croak.

My back is to the door and I'm staring at the wall behind the head of my bed. I hear the door creak open but I don't move. It's Ash. My roommate. He's the only one that would be here.

We've been best friends since grade school and moved in together at the beginning of sophomore year.

I listen to his soft footsteps and feel the mattress sink under his weight. He's sitting close to me but not right next to me. Sort of behind me.

"What happened?"

I want to tell him. But my voice doesn't come. I can't even open my mouth. I can't even try to form a sentence. It takes too much energy and a fresh wave of tears is attacking my face. I feel my shoulders shake and I'm kind of embarrassed so I turn my face to the right so Ash can't see it.

He starts rubbing my back and he scoots up the bed so he's sitting right next to me. I start openly sobbing, bringing my hands up to cover my face. I can't control my noises. I'm doing those weird awful gasps you do when you're crying really hard.

Ash pulls me so that I slump against him, my head on his shoulder.

For the briefest second, I want to crawl into his lap and cry into his neck.

He leans his cheek against the top of my head and rubs my back some more.

"It's just too much," I finally choke out.

Ash turns his head so that his mouth is against my hair, "I know." I cry a little bit more, but I feel like I'm about done. I take a deep, shuddering breath.

"Do you want to tell me about it?"

"Not right now," I say. My voice is a wreck.

"Do you want me to call Pim?"

"No. I'll see her tomorrow."

"I'm sure she wouldn't mind coming over today. You know she loves you."

"No, she's studying for an exam today."

"Okay. Have you eaten?"

"No."

"Okay, about you take a shower and I'll make you something to eat when you get out?" Ash rises up off the mattress, but I grab his arm.

"Wait," I say, avoiding his eyes. I know my eyes must be all red and my skin is probably blotching. And I'm embarrassed. Even though Ash has never made fun of me for my crying, I feel like I should be able to hold together better.

He sits back down.

"Will you rub my back?"

"I just was."

"No, like... you know?"

"Fine, okay, if it'll make you feel better."

"Thanks, Ash." I pull off my hoodie and my t shirt and lay face down on my bed, burying my face in my pillow again. Ash massages the muscles of my back and it's most soothing thing in the world.

Ash and I really gay together. Not like, actually gay. Well, he's gay. I'm not. But we're just really good friends. Like how girls will call each other "wife" but they're completely platonic? That's how Ash and me are.