Butterflies

² (Continuation/Gary's memory)

Gary had finished his coffee and left the commissary quite a while ago, forgetting about his encounter with Avocato earlier. He sat at his desk in his room as he repeatedly tapped his foot while staring into nothingness, slightly pulling at his hair.

"No. No no no. No. No." He sobbed. He was in the middle of a panic attack.

Mooncake kept trying to get Gary to respond to him, look at him, basically get him to say anything other than 'no.'

..

Nothing happened, though.

Gary trembled horribly, repeating the same word over and over again as even more tears kept flooding into his eyes.

"Chookity?? G..Gerb?????" Mooncake continued nudging him. Nothing was working. He didn't know what to do, or how he could help Gary...it was like his human friend was in a trance. So, he did the only thing left to do.

He went to get help from someone.

Mooncake flew out of the room in a hurry to retrieve Avocato, hopefully he could do something about it.

Gary....wasn't holding up well for quite a while. It took quite a few minutes of trying to force the horrible intrusive thoughts of blame, guilt and the constant hanging feeling of anxiety out of his head so he could recollect himself. He hated this. He hated going through this, and he knew no one would understand..he knew no one would believe he had this problem. He was just that good at acting like nothing is wrong with him, it'd be so out of the blue that everyone would think he's pranking all of them.

Gary hated himself, he felt horrible and blamed himself for everything bad that happened to everyone.

After ten minutes or so, Gary was a bit better. The tears had stopped. He looked around the room for Mooncake, because he swore he heard his voice earlier.

"M-Mooncake? Little buddy?" There was no sign of him in the room, though he usually stuck by his side.

"HUE, uh, where'd...where'd Mooncake go?" Gary looked up, awaiting a response from the rather unusually silent AI.

"That is not important right now, Gary." HUE's monotone voice almost instantly responded. "You need to tell the others of your situation, or I will."

"...You're...you're bluffing. You gotta be. Heh."

"I most certainly am not. I've noticed your panic attacks becoming more consistent. This isn't healthy for you. You are hiding it from the others and isolating your problems. I have no reason to be joking or bluffing. This is serious."

Gary paused for a moment before forcing himself to speak, swallowing hard.

"L-Look. I can't tell them right now. Okay? I'm not ready. I- I can't do it yet. It'd...just make me feel even crappier." Gary spoke in a serious tone, something he rarely ever does. "Please don't tell them, HUE. Please." He begged, hoping HUE would make an exception for him.

"...." The AI went silent for a moment, deciding on what to do.

"Very well, Gary," HUE said. "I will not tell them. For you."

Gary sighed in relief, scratching the back of his head. "Thanks.. I...I appreciate it."

"Know that you will have to tell them one day. It is inevitable."

"I know. I know. I just need to figure out everything happening to me. And there's a lot of stuff happening to me. Heh. You'd know, HUE."

Gary didn't get a response.

"HUE..?"

...Five minutes later, Gary was in the spot he was now. Sitting at a chair in the bridge, fighting tears, and his own mind.