it was an indescribable pain.
one that wouldn't suffice,
that couldn't be cured.
a hopeless girl
looking for love.
the one to love.
that one.
a boy who she deemed perfect,
different, special,
someone who had a shining gift inside
that was so eager to be opened.
she knew of his qualities,
his gifts, that special part of him
she knew she could unlock.
for she was the only one with the key.
she knew he could be greater
than he already was.
she saw it in him.
but yet, he was clueless, blind to the fact
that this girl knew him, or even existed for the matter.
and that pain.
that excruciating kind of pain,
became greater,
as she began to think.
is he really the one?
or am i just not?
was i just making this all up?
for my own good?
was it too good to be true?
maybe he's not special;
it's me.
oh my god it's me.
i'm the one who's not the one.
i hate all of it.
why did i have to, feel?
i hate how i act,
how i talk,
how i think,
feel,
dress,
it's hopeless she exclaims.
i'll never be good enough for him.
why did i even think for one second that i could be?
...
- junior year of high school
