Words on the Pages (one shot collection)

Unhealthy Addiction

I believe I'm in that phase where I can't decide if I hate or love you.

I think it might be love, because my eyes seem to find you in the biggest of crowds, and my heart seems to swell when you say my name.

But I might hate you because of that.

I don't want to feel this way about anyone, and especially not you.

You're selfish and rude, you have no filter and a tongue of poison, every word you say strikes me right where it hurts and I really want you to disappear.

But then I think about how things would be if you weren't here and everything fades away for a moment, and I remember that moment when you called my name, and my chest seems to swell once more, and, its like I'm listening to a song that brings itself up with warm and light melodies, and then drops back a key or two, then back up, and I'm beginning to wonder if it's all in my head.

Who compares feelings with a song anyway?

My heart seems to care that you're here, but also loves when you're gone.

My mind is foggy, misted, unclear, so I just sit in my bed listening to this song I found recently.

This song that has melodies that rise and fall between keys, and it lasts for ages, all instrumental without a single lyric.

It seems to bring back memories of the things you've said to me before.

I remember that time when I thought you leaned in close, like you were going to kiss me, then you screwed up your face and told me you hated me. You spat out the words like they dripped with gasoline and the taste made you sick.

I cried for ages, just as I cry to the song, that so perfectly fits my story, and I look at the title.

"Unhealthy Addiction"