His Girl.

Chapter 24.

It's been a month since Dad's funeral.  If there's been any healing it's been slow.  I still miss him everyday.  But I know that it'll get better.  On a bright side Ryan's been healing at an amazing rate, he's at physical therapy right now and I'm just doing some homework.  He has to go to physical therapy at least two days a week if not more.  

Franny has been more help with healing than I think anything else.  I typically try to only cry when Ryan isn't here, he gets so worried and doesn't really know what to do.  He's always so worried about me, I know that it's because he cares but I hate seeing him worry so much.  He shouldn't have to worry about a grown adult.  

Fiona has come to visit several times since Dad died.  She wants my company since really we're each others favorite sibling.  It's only a month until my birthday and she already has plans for the weekend.  

I love having Fiona here so often but I hate the reason for it.  I know she's trying to cope with the loss, but I am too.  So sometimes having her here is a burden more than a blessing.  I love having her here though.  Sometimes what we love most is what is going to destroy us.  Sometimes living without someone is a chance for us to learn more about loving people to the fullest. 

Sometimes I still call Dad.  I just want to hear his voice again even if it is only a recording.  It's something to keep me closer to dad. 

"Good morning." Ryan says as he walks in.  

"Good morning love." I respond. 

"How are you today?" He asked as he dropped his backpack in the door. 

"I'm doing good, studying a lot." I respond. 

"I don't think you're studying enough Frey." He says sarcastically. 

"I don't either." I said dead serious. "My 3.9 average instead of a 4.0 is also evidence of this." 

"I was kidding my love, and your GPA is amazing." Ryan says. "Do you know how many people would kill for a 3.9?  The answer is most of the people at your college." 

"I know you were kidding, and I know people would kill for my average.  But still I don't like it and neither would my dad.  My sisters are proud of it but I'm not.  It's not good enough throughout high school I kept a 100 average, graduated a year early, and graduated valedictorian." I say continuing to read my chem book. 

"Okay we need a date night, we haven't had one in a long time because you've been studying so much.  And you need to tell me what you want for your birthday." Ryan says.  

"My birthday is still a month away.  And Josie is asleep in our bed." I say not wanting to go away from my studies.   

"I think Josie would understand me taking you away for a  couple hours so you could clear your head.  I know that you miss him and you're trying to make him proud but your grades are only going to go down if you don't give yourself time to clear your head."  He says affectionately, as he walks over to me.  

"I don't think she'd want to be in our apartment alone.  I think she'd feel neglected.  And I don't want to leave her in our apartment alone." I say writing something down in my Chem book.  

"At least let me take the three of you out for coffee at starbucks, you need time to clear your head love.  If you don't all you're going to have in there is cramming which as you should know doesn't work." 

"I know I'm just trying to work really hard on this I have a quiz in it tomorrow.  And if I get a 95 or above then it raises my average to a 4.0 so I really need that."  I say continuing to not look up.  I love Ry with all my heart and want desperately to spend time with him but I also need to keep up a good average.  

"Okay then study at starbucks you need to get out of the house Frea." Ry says. 

"Okay." I respond with a sigh.  I don't want to leave the safety of my home.  I want to remain in one place studying but I know that that's never going to happen with Ry around.  He constantly wants me to get out of the house so I actually do things.  Which I mean it works and I'm exploring the city, but I also kind of just want to stay in my apartment sometimes.