Crossing Paths

Fifteen

I woke up to an alarm screaming and my head thumping. Mom rolled shoving my shoulder. "Rylan, shut it off."

Scooting from the bed, I shuffled across the room and tapped the screen on my phone to stop the annoying sound. Then headed to the bathroom in search of something to dull the thumping, wreaking havoc on my brain. Closing the medicine cabinet, my reflection came into view. "Ugh, I'm a mess," Whispering to the red rimmed swollen eyes staring at me.

The smell of fresh coffee floated to me urging me to move my feet. I found mom sitting at the table already sipping her morning cup of tea. "Coffee's done," Nodding to the counter. "Wanna talk?" Her voice still thick with sleep.

After pouring a cup of pick me up, I went to sit with her. For a person who hardly ever drank coffee, she makes the best, I thought after a few drinks. "What's there to talk about?" Staring at the warm liquid filling my cup. "I had no right to get upset. Ryder, is free to date whoever he wants. It's... I just... Ugh, I really don't like her." Still not able to bring myself to say her name.

"You guys should talk. Maybe today things won't feel so heavy. I know he cares about you. He was really worried about you last night."

"How do you know? What made you change your mind about him?"

Covering my hand with hers, "Sweetie," smiling, "Sometimes things are simple. It's our brain that makes them seem complicated. And giving things a little push, is never a bad thing."

"Wow, thanks for making that clear as mud." Rolling my eyes.

"You'll get it when you're ready," She smiled taking a drink.

Nodding not feeling any less confused, I pushed from the table. I didn't want to get ready. All I wanted was to fall back into bed, cover my head, and sleep the entire day away. But, I knew she wouldn't let me. She'd force me to face the day. Because if I didn't I'd be reverting, giving into the anxiety that craved to consume me. And that craving wasn't one I dared to satisfy.

After I finished showering, I stood watching my reflection in the mirror as I brushed my hair, wondering the whole time how I'd deal with seeing him today. Or, worse, deal with seeing her. Could I handle sitting by her for an hour? Knowing he was considering going out with her. Would her filthy mind be filled with even more obscene fantasies? Would she feel inclined to share those filthy fantasies? A shiver raced through me leaving goosebumps covering my skin. The pit of my stomach twisted into knots.

"What time are your classes finished?" Mom leaning in the door frame watching me swipe on mascara.

Finding her reflection in the mirror, "I'll be back around noon. So be ready. There's an amazing taco place I want to take you to for lunch. Then we'll visit The Fix. Bailey should be working so you'll be able to meet her."

"I'll be ready. Have a good morning. And remember to breathe."

"Mom," Stepping from the bathroom, "I'll be fine. Promise." The last thing I wanted was her wasting her morning worrying.

"I believe you Sweetie." Turning to walk away, "You better hurry up so you're not late." And that was the closure I needed, her pushing me to move on.

My breath stuck in my chest expanding my lungs to almost bursting. Of course he would pick today to stand outside the class room. Students strolled by greeting him as they passed. Could I dissolve into a waiting group to keep him from seeing me? Unfortunately, I was too slow, and now me and a few stragglers where left to bring up the rear. For a split second I envisioned myself leaving. Turning around and walking straight out of the building. Damn it, too slow again. He seen me. If I tried to leave now he'd just follow me.