Crossing Paths

Seventeen

Our walk home was mostly silent. We took our time so she could check out the sights, along with a couple of shops we passed. When I shoved open the yellow door, it was like flipping a switch. Suddenly she became very chatty. Which apart from her endless questions was totally out of character for her.

"I absolutely adore Chloe," Hanging her jacket by the door.

"Me too. She was really tough to crack at first." Toeing off my shoes, "Wanna watch TV?" I asked on my way to the sofa.

"Let's talk instead," Taking a seat beside me and propping her feet on the ottoman.

"Really?" I moaned, trying to brace myself for the lecture I knew was coming.

"Yes really, I wanna make sure you're ok. I do worry about you, you know." Rolling my eyes at her as I settled into my seat. When I didn't speak she continued, "I wanna start by saying I think you're adjusting well. Which in mom terms means - you're doing good on your own. You've found a job you seem to like. You've made an impression on the people you work with."

The last part surprised me. "I like my job and the people. Especially Chloe. Bailey's been a little funky lately. But, Chloe blames it on the busy season." I shrugged, playing with a loose string on one of the throw pillows.

"And school? I assume it's going good. I'm not thrilled that you ditched today. But I've not heard any other complaints. And the walk isn't bad, right?"

"No it's only a couple blocks. It stinks when it's cold, but it isn't awful. Once your legs and feet adapt to the size of city blocks," I joked. "My feet were pretty sore at first," I laughed.

"What about Ryder? Let's talk about him."

My head fell back against the cushions, "What about him? There isn't much to say. He literally ran into me on the street. After that we kept crossing paths. We decided to become friends. That's it."

She sat silently staring at me. I hated when she did this. It feels like she's studying my soul, searching for answers. And usually, it ends up being answers I didn't even know I had. Stuff I hadn't even shared with myself yet.

I was about to yell at her to say something when she started on her own. "What have you allowed yourself to feel? I think there's more going on between the two of you. You've just not figured it out yet."

"Mom! I think I know how I feel. Don't start trying to read something into this. We are friends. That's all." Anger seeped in heating my face.

"Have you told him about Gage?" Her voice stern after my outburst. "Have you shared anything about your past with him? I think he deserves to know. Since you guys are such good friends," Using air quotes. "Does he know about your struggles? How much you've fought to overcome? Why it took you so long to attend college? Hasn't anyone questioned your age?"

That's it, I'd listened to enough. Standing to keep myself from shaking, "It's none of their business. My personal life is my business. I don't have to share it with anyone. Just because you think it helps, doesn't mean it does. I don't want people to look at me the way you and dad do. Eyes all full of pity. Worrying if and when I'll have my next break down."

"We don't see you that way," Standing to face me.

"That's a lie," I shouted, "You two hang on every word like it's a missing piece to a puzzle. You're never going to solve it, so stop trying."

"I'm not trying to solve any puzzles," Her voice raised along with mine.

Rolling my eyes dramatically, "Whatever you say mother. But, just so we're clear, so you're not wasting your time searching for something that isn't there to find, Ryder isn't Gage. I know he can't replace him. I'm not crazy."

Her eyes widened to the size of saucers at my accusation. "I've never called you crazy. Nor, has your dad." Hurt outlined her eyes, "I'm sorry if you feel that way. I think you should calm down," She ordered stiffly. "If you choose to bottle everything up, that's your choice. Eventually, at some point, it's gonna have to come out." Turning, "I've got some phone calls to make."

Watching her retreating back head towards the bedroom area, tons of memories mixed with anger swirled through my head. Why couldn't she leave the past, in the past? Why did she always feel the need to compare it to my current life? There was a time when I struggled. And I conquered those struggles. Worked through my issues, and came out on the other side a stronger person. Couldn't she see that? That, I was stronger? That I wasn't the same broken girl from years ago. That I'd grown into a functioning, well rounded adult. One that handled her problems as they were presented to her. Instead of running from them and locking myself away.

An hour passed, and mom hadn't so much as peeked at me. Still making phone calls, now settled at my kitchen table, note pad in front of her scribbling while listening to someone intently. Laying on the sofa, our argument from earlier starting to drift away as my eyes began to grow heavy. My phone vibrating on the ottoman stirred me from my daze.

Kian: Hey

Me: Hi

Kian: Is it later yet?

Me: Yes. Sorry. Mom's kept me busy all afternoon. She's finally giving me a break. What's up?

Happy to have the distraction, I laid back down waiting on his response.

Kian: Well... I'm around the corner and was thinking of stopping by??

I shot up reading his response. What was he thinking? I'd warned him about her, about her relentless line of questioning. About her reading people like an open book. Why was he pushing so hard to meet her? Was he really brave enough to throw himself directly into her line of fire? On purpose? Did he consider us as more than just hanging out? Did he want to be put into the 'meet the parents' category? Question after question filled me up, until I couldn't remember what any of the right answers were.

Me: You do know you'll be throwing yourself in the line of fire. With no escape route.

I'm sure it sounded like a joke, when actually I was being serious. I wanted him to understand, so he wasn't blindsided. She could be a whole lot to handle. And I didn't want him to regret his decision afterwards.

Kian: Be there in 5.

Me: You're sure? It's not too late to back out. Save yourself.

Kian: No worries. It will be fine.

Tossing my phone on the ottoman, "Mom," She'd moved and was now perched on the edge of the bed still talking on her phone.

"Hold on a second, Rylan's yelling for me." Moving the phone from her ear, "I'm talking to your dad."

"Oh, tell him I said hi, and I love him." Nodding, she relayed my message. "And there's someone on their way here who I'd like you to meet." I rushed smashing all my words together.

Holding up a finger, "Sweetheart, I've gotta go. Rylan's springing someone new on me," pausing, "And from the looks of her, I'd say it's a boy."

I didn't stick aroundto hear the rest. Instead I turned on my heel charging towards the door. If Imoved quick enough I could make it out of the loft before she had time to stopme. This way I wouldn't have to endure a million questions.