She stared at him from afar. Nasasanay na sya sa ganitong set-up. They'd talk and laugh one day and ignore each other on the next. And then talk again. And laugh again. And then ignore each other again. It's a stupid game of turning around in circles, from the warmth of being like old friends to the coldness of being like strangers again. It's a vicious, unforgiving cycle. Lalo na para sa kanya dahil kahit hindi man nya lalapitan si Elmo, she knew deep within that she could never really completely ignore him. Nakatingin pa rin sya. Naghihintay. Umaasa.
It's killing her, watching him blow from smoke to smoke, lighting up another stick, satiating himself with the pleasure of the 'fragrance' of a leaf.
Smoking is a sensual and romantic vice, Julie.
Napailing sya nang maalala ang usapan nila tungkol sa paninigarilyo. He was smoking as they talked about smoking.
What? How so?
She could still remember how his eyes gleamed teasingly at her and how he blew another puff before speaking.
He had dug out another stick from his pocket and placed it between his fingers.
I dunno where this stick came from. I dunno who rolled this heavenly leaf for me to smoke. It could be a woman who left her husband for another man. It could be a man who left his wife for another man because he's finally sure that he's gay. This stick could represent passion and freedom. So everytime I smoke, I am inhaling another man or woman's passion...another person's art, another person's truth. I am taking them all in. It's like sex minus the flesh.
She had been dumbstruck by his depth. She never thought that he would delve deeper into things that aren't thought of by most people. At that very moment, she felt like she was torn between two polarizing emotions-her ever-growing admiration for him and her disgust for his misguided principles.
She was snapped out of her thoughts when she felt a light tap on her shoulders.
Julie, ready ka na?
.....
Their team was invited to join a parade as part of the 75th anniversary of the foundation that supported their project. At dahil kailangan ng 'muse' na maghahawak ng banner ng team nila, sya ang pinagkaisahan ng mga kasama. Si Elmo naman ang piniling 'prince charming'.
It was a hot day. Worse, the parade was dragging dahil sa dami ng sumali dito. Hindi sila nag-uusap ni Elmo. Iniisip na lang nyang baka pagod ito sa kakalakad sa ilalim ng init ng araw. Kahit sya ay pagod na rin. Medyo malayo-layo pa naman ang lalakarin nila. The parade was supposed to end at the city hall.
Nakita nyang may ibinulong ito sa kasama nilang si John and then headed to a sari-sari store where he bought a pack of cigarettes. Mahaba-haba na rin ang nalakad nila nang bigla itong magsalita.
Let's stop here.
Huh?
Come with me.
Bakit?
Nagkibit-balikat ito.
I'm tired. Nagpaalam na ako kay John. Pinagpaalam na rin kita.
Ha? Pero...
He didn't wait for her to answer at agad-agad itong humiwalay sa team. Pumunta ito sa ilalim ng isang puno habang nakatingin sa kanya na tila ba hinihintay syang sumunod. Hindi nya maintindihan ang naramdaman pero sa sandaling yun ay tila ba hinihila sya ng tingin nito and in a matter of seconds, she found herself standing beside him under the tree.
He heard him laugh softly.
What's funny, Elmo? Tanong nya dito. She was baffled with his actions at lalong di nya alam kung ano talaga ang pakay nito sa kanya.
Nothing. I just want to laugh.
It was her turn to laugh softly.
Baliw ka nga talaga. Tatawa-tawa ka tapos wala namang nakakatawa.
Hindi ito nagsalita kaagad habang nakatingin sa kanya.
It's you, Julie.
Huh? What...
You followed me here. Tipid na dagdag nito.
Kasi sinabi mo eh. She almost bit her lip. Totoong sumunod sya kay Elmo because he asked her to and she felt quite embarrassed at how 'easy' and vulnerable she had been. Isang tingin lang napa-'oo' na sya.
Elmo was amused. Nakikita nya kasi ang pamumula ng pisngi ni Julie and knew at that moment that the fun was about to begin. Sinadya nyang tingnan ito mula ulo hanggang paa. Natitiyak kasi nyang maiinis ito sa ginagawa nya. He had stared at her for so many times and he always felt amused with her reactions. Napangiti sya nang makitang unti-unti itong sumimangot at nag-iwas-tingin. Lalo pa syang napangiti nang makitang mas namula pa ito.
Ano ka ba, Elmo. Umayos ka nga. Kung makatitig ka naman. Naiinis na sambit nito na halatang nako-conscious na sa ginawa nya which was actually his purpose.
He grinned at her and moved a little bit closer. He had sensed her uneasiness dahil umatras ito para lumayo sa kanya.
What, Julie? I have eyes. These are made for looking. You have a problem with that? He said, giving her a naughty smile.
Bumuntong-hininga ito as she met his gaze.
Yes. I have a problem with the way you stare. Nababastosan na ako sa mga tingin mo. Respect, Elmo. Respect. I'm not a whore. Medyo tumigas na ang boses nito na halatang galit na which made him even more excited and amused.
He examined her from head to toe, his eyes stopping at her skimpy blood-red shorts and smirked.
And you expect men to respect you when you're dressed that way?
Huh? Anong sabi mo? What's that supposed mean, Magalona? She retorted, annoyed by his unsparing statement.
He chuckled and shook his head.
You're not a whore, Julie but you're definitely wearing a slut's uniform.
Nagulat din sya sa sinabi nya. Even before the parade started, he couldn't take his eyes off her, a bit surprised with the way she was dressed and how good she looked. He didn't find her slutty, either, but he didn't know where those cutting words came from. He could see the surprise and pained look on her face. She was obviously offended with his remark.
He was about to say something but stopped when he saw her begin to unbutton her shirt. He stood there, transfixed, mouth agape as her fingers easily freed one button to the next until the last was undone. His heart began to beat wildly at the sight. He never expected Julie's response to be like this. He looked around for signs of people who could probably witness the scene at lalong kinabahan. Marami-rami pa rin kasi ang tao na nasa daan. He was speechless as he helplessly watched her.
Then without the slightest bit of hesitation, she hastily took her blouse off and much to his surprise, she was wearing a tight fitting camisole over her bra as opposed to what he thought he was about to see. He sighed with relief pero napaangat ulit ng tingin when he heard her laugh.
Nagulat ka ano? Akala mo maghuhubad talaga ako? She was smiling, her eyes teasing, mocking him.
Ju-Julie...
She tilted her head, still smiling and gave him a gentle slap on his arm.
This is what happens when you bring a knife to a gunfight. Dapat laging handa. Gets mo, Elmo?
