Chapter One

Again

"And I'm like 'Jesus, I'm on the frikin bus again because all my rides to school are dead.'"

I shift in my comfortable seat on the couch. The sunlight streams through the window, letting me know that the week is starting once again. I hear my alarm go off in the other room. I take that as my queue to get up.

I continue the pattern. I turn off the television, get up from the couch, and drag the fuzzy blanket after me into the kitchen. There's Mary, sitting at the table with a bowl of cereal, again. And there's the sink full of dirty dishes, again. And there's our fridge with nothing in it because Mom hasn't gone shopping since Thursday, again.

I hear my brothers stomping down the stairs. Just like last Monday. Exactly like last Monday.

I sigh, grabbing an orange from the fruit basket and trying to scurry back to my room without my Mom seeing me and going on the same rant.

"Hey, John! I thought I told you to always get dressed before coming down for breakfast. How many times do I need to repeat myself?"

"I dunno, Mom. I'll do it now." I shrug and leave before she can continue. I turn down the hallway and pass my brothers on the stairs. James will get there first. He always gets there first. Henry will start arguing with him about who gets the last of the eggs and who doesn't. Mom always makes them split it.

"James! You got the eggs yesterday!"

"No, I just got here quicker than you!"

"That's not fair! Mom, tell him he's not being fair!"

"If you two don't stop, neither of you are getting the eggs. Just split them, for Christs' sake."

I push open my bedroom door. It looks the same as always. I find my sweatshirt in its normal spot, hanging over the back of my desk chair. I look around for my shoes, then remember they're under the bed again. It's Monday. Everything will be the same as last Monday. Everything will be the same.

I should be 18 and a half by now. It's been so long since this has started...

I shake my head. I just have to get through it one more time. Maybe it'll end this week. Maybe it won't. I'll just have to wait and see.

I walk over to my desk and look at the calendar hanging above my computer. A row of red X's marks the week before. I look at the box for the 25th of May. Nothing. Again.

I guess it's the 25th again today. It's the same date as last Monday. And the Monday before. And the Monday before that.

I look at the clock. 7:16 am. My mom shouts for me right on queue.

"John, if you don't get in the car, your father is going to drive away!"

"I'm coming!" I grab my bag from its usual spot and run down to give my mom a hug before squeezing into my dad's car, along with all of my siblings.

I don't even try to get in the front seat. I learned my lesson weeks ago that Mary will always get shotgun on Monday and Tuesday. James manages to wrestle it away from her on Wednesday, and Henry sits there Thursday and Friday. I have the schedule locked in my head. Martha always gets driven to school by her friend, so she's never around past 7.

We drive down the same street as we always do. Pass the same trees as always. Run over the same pothole as always. Get cut off by the same guy in a silver 2009 Honda as always.

Every week is the same. I never get relief. I never get to do things differently. I always get a second chance, and I always waste it. One time I got a huge bruise on Friday after getting beat by a group of kids at school, but it disappeared when Monday rolled around. I got hit by a car when riding my bike one week, but on Monday I was back in the same spot on the couch, no broken bones in sight. That doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. Of course it hurts.