Lost Stars

Chapter 1

Juin 13th, 2001
London
Funeral of Johnathan and Felecia Desdalia

The heavy drops of rain kept falling from the sky creating the ideal weather for a gloomy day. The grey clouds as dull as my eyes don't seem to be leaving any time soon. No ray of sun would be peaking in any time soon. London just seems darker than any other day.

    The normally bustling city seems to have taken a plunge into the sad and gloomy. No tourist seems to be wandering around. The citizens seem to be all walking in sync and repeating an everlasting cycle. Wake up, eat, attend the private lessons, eat, go to sleep and then repeat. A cycle I've been repeating every single day for the past 12 years. Being a genius is not all that great. The idea of such a thing happening had never crossed my mind. New York had been my only concern for the past few weeks. Then came the bomb, the one that shook my life and brought me back to reality. No tears had been shed. Yet.

    As a child, like many, when their names were brought up, forever was always a word present. Gone was something that only existed in my nightmares, in our nightmares.

    When I enter, I don't need to look around to know. To know that his face isn't present. To know that his mischievous black eyes won't be looking my way with mirth any time soon. At least, not until it's my turn to leave as well. Two funerals, both of them the end of it, of what was left of my family. And both caused by them.

    Only a fool would be unaware of the sorrow coming from my broken heart in waves. My eyes lost any and all happiness years ago. Would this be hell or earth my mind wouldn't notice the difference. Life is simply an endless cycle.

    The steps of the many echoed on the stone tiles of the hall. Seats are filled with both known and unknown people. Children and adults sat in silence waiting for it to start. The words "I'm sorry for your loss" are practically written on all their lips. The colour, or lack there of, was so prominent it was almost suffocating.

I was suffocating.

I kept adverting my gaze away from the prying eyes of those present. I was looking anywhere but there; the crystal chandelier on the ceiling, the colourless mosaics on the walls, the black roses at the entrance, the architecture of the grand hall, anything.

The trip here had been a blur. The noises had been drowned out by the pounding in my ears. The people passing by and the cars' honking weren't present. The funerals were always the day right after the souls leave the body. It was to "move on quicker and easier" as they say, "no need to drown in this river of grief while we can move on". I was drowning in much more than just grief. Why couldn't I mourn alone and in peace? Why are my choices and opinions always ignored?

I was broken out of my thoughts by a hand being placed on my forearm. As looked to my right to look at the owner, I found  myself looking at the old gray wise eyes that belonged the elderly woman who's taken care of my health and wellbeing since I was a child, Anna Medrovsky. That woman was probably the only person from which I accepted sympathy that day. She had gone through a lot herself. Apart from my parents, Dr. Medrovsky was the one who knew me best, she knew me better than I knew myself.

I looked down in shame. It was foolish for me to think I was the only one suffering. Everyone here was there for a reason, be it out of respect or because of personal, they were here to say their final goodbyes. 

My eyes drifted to the alter. There, the picture of a happy newly wed couple rested. I was fighting the tears that threatened to escape. That picture was but a simple happy memory. Happiness that was gone in simply a matter of seconds. Happiness, it left an empty space never to be filled again.

The world became nonexistent during the whole ceremony. People saying they knew them, saying how great they were, it made me sick.

A minute passed, then a second, then a third, then a fourth, one hour passed, two hours passed. Time seemed to flow, my mind became unaware of my body's actions. Next thing I knew, I was on the way to the family mansion with the driver silent as ever.