The ABCs of Moving On

Visit

Even in his dreams, a petite girl in a white flowing sundress would visit him — as if the thoughts of her that surfaced in his mind during the day weren't enough. She was standing beside his bed, hand outstretched a few centimeters from his face. Taking a good look at her features, one could see she was troubled, not yet at peace.

"Are you not going to visit me?"

Natsu stirred in his sleep as he felt something shake him and shout his name. Immediately, realization dawned upon him and his eyes snapped open. "L-lisanna, is that you?"

He found his window opened, just like what Lisanna used to do when she visited him in the middle of the night. A cold gust of wind made him slightly shiver. Looking around him, he saw no one.

"Lis, where are you?" He got out of the bed and opened the door. A flash of movement outside caught his eye and he proceeded to follow it, leading him out of his house and into the path to hers. He didn't know if this was all merely a figment of his imagination, but it stopped when he reached her house.

He grabbed the doorknob then hesitated. It suddenly occurred to him that it was well past midnight and the people inside might be sleeping. Lisanna might not even be there. But what the hell was that that happened to him a while ago?

Without even bother knocking, he barged open the door and find Mirajane sleeping on the couch. Whether she was woken up by Natsu or couldn't sleep at all, she sat up groggily and turned on the lights.

"Natsu, what are you doing here at this time?" Mirajane asked, surprised at his weird arrival.

"Lisanna. I followed her from my house."

"Natsu, you don't know what you're saying. You're not supposed to see her because she's not supposed to be there — or anywhere," she explained carefully like one might do to a child. "You may have just imagined it."

"No!" Natsu said firmly. "She came through my window like she always did before!"

"If anything, you might've... you might've seen her ghost," Mirajane choked as she fought back a sob.

"But seeing her ghost would mean she's dead...wait — no," Natsu shook his head continuously to push away the ugly thoughts threatening to poison his bloodstream. He went inside her room to take a look.

A memory of her made its way to his mind. She was writing on a notebook at her desk inside her room. Her face would always light up every time he visited her.

"Natsu, I'm so glad you're visiting me!" Lisanna would exclaim happily, scrambling to hide her notebook.

"See, she's here!" Natsu persuaded Mirajane. "She's just writing on her desk!"

Tears welled up at the corner of Mirajane's eyes. "Natsu, as much as I wanted to believe you, Lisanna's dead," she repeated softly, "And her funeral is in a week."

They heard crying at the corner of the room. Darkness still filled the place, making them unable to see whoever it was.

"Lis?" Natsu tried hopefully, slowly walking towards the source of the sound. Once he was sure he was in front of it, Mirajane turned on the lights. At first, he blinked at the sudden brightness, but once his eyes adjusted —

"Elfman? What are you doing here?" He heard Mirajane ask the weeping boy with concern.

More crying ensued, this time even louder. "I'm not a man, am I? I don't even know what I'm doing here. Is it to see her again or bask in her lingering presence because she's gone?"

"We all have different ways of coping," Mirajane said to no one in particular. "Only time would heal. Only time would make us understand and accept it all."

Natsu didn't understand her words — didn't hear them even. Perhaps he was still processing the events that transpired. He still didn't know what this visit meant to him and important this was. Not yet.

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dedicated to my best friend irl, thatunicornwriter! ily and thanks for everything (ps. congrats on your poetry book)