The ABCs of Moving On

Wreck

"Why?"

Lucy was a wreck, her spirit wavering as she spluttered out questions incessantly. Still exactly what she was like a week ago. The only thing she could ever do was cry in the only places she ever went: her apartment and the school library.

The scene kept replaying in her head, like a movie on a loop — except it was only showing the ugly parts.

She buried her face on her arms that were folded on top of the table. She and Loke — they've been together for a year. The moments they've spent together felt like a fairy tale and they were almost the perfect couple. Almost.

"I've been through all this when mom died. Why is this happening to me again?"

Natsu, who can only watch helplessly and was probably preventing himself from doing the same, observed, "It's like a cycle, isn't it?"

"The Stages of Grief," Lucy recalled as silent tears streamed down her face. "Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Sadness. Acceptance."

"So I'm assuming we're both at denial?" Natsu then faltered and said quietly, "Because I still can't believe I lost her. She.. she could just be at her room, hiding. Or — or she could be waiting at the field to watch me play!" With this, Natsu started to stand up and head towards the door.

Lucy, dazed as she was, didn't waste a minute pulling him back with his sleeves and into reality. "She's as gone as Loke and I are done. Or so I think. Maybe, "she trailed off, her words turning to an ironic twist. "Maybe everything's just a misunderstanding. Maybe he never meant to hurt me. He loves me, right?"

"Yes, and none of these tragic things just happened to us," Natsu deadpanned with equal parts sarcasm and foolish hope. "God, it's like, we need to be constantly slapped and be reminded of — "

"The ABCs of Moving On," Lucy suddenly uttered, the idea popping in her mind. "Um, a guidebook? We need help, and we can only help each other."

"I guess we could do that. No use just sitting around here denying and wondering about the what-ifs. So where do we start, at Z?"

"Plus points for originality," Lucy let out a small chuckle, wiping her tears with the back of her hand. "Although as much as I hate writing on books," she paused and looked around to see if the librarian was watching, "we might have to 'borrow' this for a while."

But even as she replaced 'Zebra' with 'Zero', and flipped the page before it, she can't help but wet the book with her tears. "The alphabet starts with A and ends with Z. Whole numbers start with zero and end in infinity. Moving on begins with an ending and end with a beginning," Lucy read out loud as she wrote the words down.

"Wait, wouldn't that be ZYXs of Mov — "

"No, Natsu," Lucy cut him off before he could finish his question. "Just no."

"Fine."

"Anyway, what's zero for you?" Lucy continued to write, her hands trembling slightly at the effort and the effort not to cry.

"Zero? Feeling incomplete. Being nothing," Natsu answered and sighed, "Never knowing when you'll feel whole again."

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i know she's inactive but this is dedicated to rainbowkuroo. thanks for being a great friend and i hope we could talk again soon!