A/N
Hey guys! So, I thought I would give one more story a try. Let's see how it goes.
~~~~~~~~Dan's Journal~~~~~~~~
Dear Phil,
It's Dan here and I decided that I would keep a journal for you. I honestly don't know why. It's probably just going to be a place for me to organize and express my thoughts. Nonetheless, I will start today.
So, it's currently 2014 and i know it's crazy to think, but I still remember the first day we met. Yep, I probably sound like an idiot now. Oh well. I remember when we first skyped, when I watched your first video, pretty much everything we did together. The little gestures that you did when we went out for Starbucks or Shakeaway, the midnight Skype calls, when you asked me to move in with you. Everything.
Anyways, the point of that was to let you know what I think of you. I never have the guts to tell you, but I wanted to let you know somehow. Also, you deserve to know how I feel. If it matters at all. Listen, I like you. Like, a lot. And I don't know how to tell you. I mean I already know you're bi but, you would never settle for me. And I know I'm super awkward and annoying, and that's why. I know that if I ever told you, you'd ask me to leave or something.
So, yeah. I hope that clears things up on why I've been acting so weird lately. Well actually you probably haven't noticed. I'm pretty good at hiding my emotions. Thank god. Oh! Also, if you are reading this, can you pick me up some malteasers from the store? Thanks. Um, I don't really know how to end this thing so I'll just say...
Goodbye Journal!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dan's POV:
Whew, now that that's done, I can go back to Phil and finish watching Attack On Titan. Apparently he saw me walking back from my room, and patted the spot next to him on the couch. "Come on Dan! You're gonna miss Mikasa!" He looked at me with those icy blue eyes that I adored so much. "Okay, okay, I'm coming. Calm down before you hurt yourself." I laughed and proceeded to sit down in the lounge.
After a while, I turned to look at the time, and caught Phil staring at me. "What? Is there something on my face?" I chuckled lightly. "No! No, it's just...nice eyes." He looked down and blushed immediately. He knew that one of the things I hated most about myself was my eyes. Surely he was just saying that to comfort me on that. Right? "Thanks." Things got a bit awkward after that. "Um, I'm gonna go to bed but, Dan?" "Yeah?" "Can we talk in the morning?" "Sure. Night." He nodded and walked out and into his bedroom. Hmm, I wonder what he wants to talk about. Then the bad thoughts came.
'Oh my god.' 'He's going to kick me out.' 'Has he noticed me acting weird?' 'What is he on about?' 'He's going to confront me on the way I've been acting.' 'What if he decided he hates me now?' 'What if I never see him again?' 'What if he asks me never to talk to him again?' Oh god, now I'm having an existential crisis. Oh god, I need Phil. I need him to calm me down. I need him. Now.
A/N
Hey guys! So, I tried. I tried and I don't know if people will even read this but if you are, thank you. Bye internet!
