Morning. Being forced off to school. I get off the bus, and trudge through another day of torture. Maths. Reading. History. Lunch. Chemistry. Culinary. I'm in lunch right now, sitting alone. Wondering what the plot of my book is. Seeing the words- everywhere. I look down at the cardboard painted red they call pizza, not hungry. I feel you jokingly shove me and then hear oh come on eat up. Soooo yummy! I'm not in the mood. I found out my life is a BOOK and now you want to play around like that? But I smile anyway. It's impossible to stay mad at you long. Shoot I dribbled sauce on my white shirt. And I didn't bring my jacket. I try helplessly to wipe it off but to no avail. This is not going to come out today. Fortunately I have chem next and everyone there is nice enough. The bell rings, and I make a mad dash to the trash can before the wave of students can beat me to it causing me to be caught up in a crowd. Yes! Just in time. I head quickly to my locker and spin the combo. Despite the people in my chem class being nice, it's still my least favorite. It's insanely boring, and I don't know what I'm going to do without my notebook. I'm going to be the stubborn person I am and not pay attention to prove the point my notebook isn't stopping me. A small act of rebellion that will do nothing but make me feel better. Like punching a pillow when you're mad. I reluctantly take my seat, noting the ugly color of the chairs. They could do SOMETHING to make us want to be here. "Today, " Mr. Richardson declares "we will be watching a video. I expect you to take notes." As if. I silently praise in my head. An easy day. I feel you knock on my head and hear you think oh but shouldn't learn something? Nah. I'm good. I don't need it. The video starts with loud classical music of some kind, and my brain starts to wander. I know time is passing but it doesn't feel like it is until the shill shrieking of the bell snaps me back into reality. I scoop up my books and quickly leave. Time for culinary. I'm horrible cooking and we always have to work in groups so I am dreading it. I come in, and see we have a sub. I am internally singing and dancing and joyfully doing cartwheels because our un-trusting teacher won't let the subs do anything but watch us, always fearing the worst. We get a free period! Yesss yes. I'm going to go to the library and probably sleep in the back corner. I excuse myself then quickly walk to the library, marveling at the lack of work I've had to do today. I guess I'm getting lucky, finally. Maybe mom will give back my notebook. Opening the door, I get the sweet familiar scent of books. Ironic, considering I'm living in one. Shouldn't the world smell like this? I take my place in the back of the room and put my head down on the desk, slowly drifting in to a half sleep. Much is going on, I hear books being checked out and people talking and the librarian lecturing someone for cursing when they lost their presentation. Eventually I stand up and begin to browse the books. I don't want to read... Not after finding out I've been living in one since day one. But I need to move around and the librarian is strict about looking at books if you're gonna walk around. Finally the bell rings and I go to my locker for my homework then quickly walk out the door. I wish I could walk home, but my mom knows I'm bad with remembering directions and won't let me. I reluctantly board the bus and sit down in an empty seat. Since lots of people walk and we have sports and clubs the bus isn't very crowded today. I hear the rev of the engine and I get a strange knot in my stomach. Something is off. We're moving and driving then all the sudden we're skidding and turning and people are screaming... And then nothing. The world is so quiet now. I can't hear anything. I see the splat of sauce on my shirt getting bigger. That's weird. Why am I on the ceiling looking up at the seats? This suddenly seems so funny and I giggle. I don't feel anything but complete and udder gidiness. So many pretty, pretty spots. Ooh such pretty pretty flashing blue and red lights over there. I can feel you frantically trying to tell me something but I'm to happy to care. Now there's a man standing by me, touching my wrists and saying something to the person next to him. He's wearing a white shirt with a little snake on a stick patch... Snake on a stick... I want to gasp but I can barely breathe. I figured it out. The plot. Whether or not I die in this bus crash. The patch is the symbol for the hospital and paramedics and stuff. I'm hurt. Bad. I'm panicking now and I dart my eyes around. The paramedic notices this and is trying to calm me down but I can't hear what he is saying. I see blood all over me and smell it and all I can think is blood blood blood. Now suddenly I realize... The plot is my life, not if I live or die. This is the last page. I love you. So much. I love you more than words or thoughts can express. Please don't close the book. I don't want to die.
