Whatever

Sick of losing soul mates gxg

I sit at my desk in my room, the blinds on my windows are up the sun is my only light source. Not that I would need anything more, I hum along to the music on my phone absentmindedly while texting a friend. I send my text and the current song ends, I almost always sing along to my music and there is no exception for the next song that starts.

"What a strange being you are~" I start feeling rather triumphant I remembered the words. "God only knows where I would be if you hadn't found me sitting all alone in the dark. A dumb screenshot of youth, watch how a cold broken teen will desperately lean on a super glued human of truth." I pause because I hear the doorbell ring, I hear my someone open the door and assume my mom or Sister got it.

"What the hell would I be~ without you~?" I hear creeping form the hall and ignore it assuming it's one of my siblings. "Brave face talk so lightly~ hide the truth~"

"Cause I'm sick of losing soulmates so where do we begin?" I definitely hear someone humming along form the hall. I walk to the door slowly, they sound familiar but not like one of my siblings. I don't open the door I just sing a bit quieter, "I can finally see you're as fucked up as me so have do we win?"

It's right then when I open my door and start laughing like a dumbass when I see one of my friends Jill in the hall. She starts singing while I laugh at her. "yeah, I'm sick of losing soulmates won't be alone again."

I stop laughing and step out of her way sing the next part with her, "I can finally see you're as fucked up as me. So how do we win."

She sings the next verse on her own making motions and being dramatic. Her dark brown hair frames her face not moving out of place. I sometimes wonder if Jill is a robot because of that hair, but I know she's not. Robots don't have emotions, and this girl definitely does.

"What the hell would I be without you?" She starts and I notice how great a singer. Then she puts her hand on her heart, and reaches towards me I hold my hand out towards her just out of reach as I sing the melody.

"What the hell would I be," we step closer together as if choreographed. Sadly I feel my voice almost break as she pulls me towards her.

"Brave face talk so lightly hide the truth." She sings me away gently in an attempt to be elegant. I fail miserably as nearly fall.

"Hide the truth," I catch myself as I sing. I am so grateful that I decided not to put on a playlist of songs with higher notes.

"'Cause I'm sick of losing, soulmates so where do we begin?"She sings and pulls me towards her, then she keeps me oddly close to her. "I can finally see you're as fucked up as me, so how do we win?" She sings this but the way she looks at me makes me feel as if it's a question.

"Yeah I'm sick of losing soulmates, won't be alone again."I say hoping to answer this question, I stay in her arms but gently take her hand before asking her. "I can finally see you're as fucked up as me so how do we win?"

Here comes the "ohhhh" of the song and then something I never imagined happening, happened. She leans into me and I find my self kissing her. I engaged it, we were so close and I couldn't help myself. My first kiss with a girl was while singing along to Dodie Clark. 'I need to listen to her more often' I think. We only kiss for a moment and she seems surprised, she practically jumps away from me leaving me to stumble and find my feeling. She opens her mouth to talk, but she can't seem to find words, so I say something.

"I won't take no for an answer, I won't take no for answer. I won't take no, I won't take no." She says nothing but looks like she might cry, this time I take her hand. "Jill I'm sick of losing soul mates, so where do we begin? I can finally see-" I speak but I am cut off by her.

"You're as broken as me so how do we win?" We are talking now at the same pace as the song. I nod and we fall silent, but my puny phone speaker plays on.

We stand still as if in a stare down, I walk to my desk when the song ends and turn off my playlist. "Why didn't you tell me before?" She asks me, I don't respond. "Lilly, how long and why." She says firmer now, I don't know how to reply at first so a take a moment before turning towards her.

"Since December," I respond then fall silent again.

"But we didn't hang out that much in-" then a look of realization.

"The cast party," I say sheepishly as she nods.

"Sorry- I just- I mean- Well, you were so close and I know you have a girlfriend and all I just-"

"Lilly, I never felt that way about you. I'm sorry," She says sadly, I feel like crying but she just got here. "I can leave I think I might, I just I can't be trapped I know you know how that is." She says to me as I feel my heart shatter.

"Ya," I say with a smile that probably came off awkward. I do know what she means, the last person I was with I was only with them because they liked me. I didn't want that for Jill.

"I want you to be happy, one day you will." She says and awkwardly walks out of my room and I hear the front door open and close.

"Stupid stupid stupid!" I exclaim when she gone. My heart was beating so loud I thought it might burst from my chest.

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Hello hello hello, so my grammar sucks sorry about that. My spelling is equally as bad I am sure, I was bored while writing this.

A big thanks to Dodie Clark for the inspiration for this. I didn't know that the official music video featured a lesbian couple until I looked it up. (Which I did AFTER I wrote this btw) So that's cool and fits even better!

Also this is gonna be my Whatever one shots book. There will be anything from fanfics to silly little story's in my mind.

Any who thanks for reading ily 🤟 - P.P.