Social Anxiety

Lost In the Sea

Addiyln POV

 Ah home alone at last, I love the feeling of being home alone you have such freedom! I lie down on my blue bed in my white room, the carpet brushing the edges of my toes I smile as memories before my anxiety flood through my brain. Oh no not this memory I feel my face getting wet with my tears as I curl up into a small ball unaware that I am now facing one of the biggest anxiety attacks yet.

A blood coiling shriek erupts from the back of my throat as hot tears trickle down my cold face. I fall off my bed banging down on my surprisingly hard floor. I try to calm myself down but my heart rate is increasing trying to compensate with the gasps for air that are flaring up from my mouth. My lips are dry as I continue to shriek in pain because this memory is too much for me to remember. The darkness overwhelms my vision, something that I have never seen. "Please, no! No!" I scream as I bang my hands on my floor. Why am I so dumb so stupid! No one likes you! Sobs escape from my mouth as my body starts to tremble. My hands run across my black hair trying to calm myself down. The flashback starts to play the moment that happened in my room that makes me want to die, makes me want to forget about life....

"Jeez Addilyn stop being an idiot!" Piper said as she picked out an article of clothing from my closet. All of my 'friends' from the popular group were here, well all the girls at least. Emma with the classic beautiful looks with blond locks  ice blue eyes and pale skinned all the boys were after her for her looks, but they do not know that she is a complete snake and heart breaker, she enjoys seeing you cry. Then next to her on my right is Isabella, the smart one of the group, come on you need one person to look after you when you are making stupid decisions like drinking one more alcoholic beverage, she is the one who will drive you home. Her pin straight red natural hair, green eyes and freckles. The classy one, the one who knows what she is doing, Isabella, I have no idea why she hangs out with us, she is really pretty but we are just so dumb, she deserves better. Then there is Mackenzie, the one who is a TV show actress, her show Total Interwave, won many awards and if you do not know her then who are you? Mackenzie with her wavy caramel hair and earth colored eyes, she is absolutely stunning, but do not think of approaching her, she has a boyfriend, the one and only Jason McLighting (first name that came into mind....haha) he is known for his role in Teen Wolf, the Werewolf Strikes. His looks are stunning just like him, he also goes to our school the two are the power couple of the school. The one that everyone gushes over, but who am I kidding I think they are just disgusting together, the gushiness is too much for me. We also have Piper, my best friend, she is the one you go to when you need advice she is the one in the group who you go to when you need to cry. She has been with me for over 7 years. We are the newest members of the group joining just 2 years ago in 9th grade. Piper has brown hair usually in a side braid, with her multi colored eyes. She is the modest one out of all of us, she is the one who never shows her true side unless she is with the popular group. Finally, there is me Addilyn, the one with black hair, pale skin, and blue-ish green-ish eyes. I am the model out of all of us, I have modeled for Teen Vouge with many famous people like Sarah Infinity. My pictures are posted everywhere and my fame is rising with an instagram following count of 5 million people. Everyone in the group is known for something.

"Yeah Addiyln! Come on listen to us!" Screeches Mackenzie, they're trying to tell me to bring them to my next shoot. "I am sorry you guys! I would have loved to but my manager would not be happy with that, Mackenzie you know how it is, being famous!" I yelled at all of them. "True okay fine." Mackenzie had claimed, she was very understanding. "Ladies what do you wanna do today?" Questioned Isabella, "Who knows Izzy?" Said Emma. "Oh I know, how about we go to the amusement park next door!" I had yelled, "Ew no my nails will get ruined in that dust!" Yelled Isabella. "See what I mean, Addiyln you are an idiot no one wants to go to this amusement park what are you 6?" Piper yelled spitting all over my face. She has changed, ever since I became a model she is just yelling in my face trying to break me, today I broke. "Piper stop, I am tired of your attitude to me. What happened to being best friends? Right now you are the one who is an idiot, you have been a jerk and a bully to me ever since my carer has taken off! If you hate me so much then why don't you just get out of my house! Let's be real you are only here still because of me!"I screeched, her eyes went wide as she replied, " Sure okay I am mad that you are better than me, but you are the one who is a jerk about it every time. You tell me I cannot go, why not? Are you afraid that I might take your place?" Piper had claimed. "No just no Piper I have told you to stop so stop you are the one who has become such a jerk to me! You are not the one we go to you are the one I want to run away from, after all Jason likes you and you are okay with that, I saw you two in the hallway holding hands and talking such, that is just mean! What about Mackenzie!" I had yelled, but I wished I could take that back, it was a secret that I was supposed to keep, the two had been an item for about 1 year now. Jason had been cheating on Mackenzie. Mackenzie did not look so good, her eyes started to form tears as she walked up to Piper and slapped her in the face, Piper gasped for air as she ran to me punching me in the stomach. I yelled out in pain and Mackenzie ran to me hugging me muttering the words thank you for saying that. Piper then slapped me again but this time I fell hard onto the floor. "You are ugly and worthless no one likes you just do us a favor and die!" Piper had said. I started to cry as I yelled, "Fine if you do not like me then get out of my house!" Piper ran off but everyone except Mackenzie went after her. We both held each other crying. This was the last time I would be with my best friend, this would be the last time that we would talk. This would be the time where I changed.

Sorry this was so late studying for some tests that are happening in my school, OMG what 200 reads on my other story! That is crazy! Sorry kind of bad chapter writers block has taken over for this story! I will get ideas this is just a filler chapter but you know the drill comment and vote on this story! That is all for today folks peace!

~WonderlightDiza