recover // c.h. au (DISCONTINUED)

Eight

. : | E I G H T | : .

I ordered a pistachio ice cream in a waffle cone, immediately paying for it so that the boys won’t have to pay for everything, including me. Luke whined when he saw me tucking my wallet back inside my shoulder bag, pouting at me. I laughed silently at him and sat down on one of the empty chairs inside the ice cream parlor. I missed this. I missed having friends to hang out with and people to talk to. It makes me feel wanted, and that’s all I want. To be wanted by someone not because of your looks and words but because they truly want to spend time with you.

It was already hard being depressed while I was bearing a child. I couldn’t afford to be stressed too much that time. And right now, I was very glad to have met these people. Even though I’ve only been here for a day. It felt nice to be appreciated. It felt nice to bask in someone else’s, beside my family’s, presence and I could just live in this moment forever. Even though it seemed pathetic. “So, Elliot, describe the feeling of eating the best ice cream ever,” Michael grinned at me.

“Eh, not bad,” I shrugged playfully, grinning slyly at all of them. They laughed and shook their heads at me.

“No, seriously, this is, like, the best place to get gelato in town!” Ashton exclaimed.

“Fine, this is the best place to get ice cream,” I confirmed, smiling. They cheered in response, other people looking at our direction and shaking their heads at us.

“Sorry,” Luke said to this one old lady who was glaring at us because of how noisy we were. I chuckled lightly at his expense and turned to Lucy, making sure she’s still asleep. To my relief she still was; soundly asleep, lightly snoring and flipping to one side and another every once in a while.

My angel—she looked absolutely like an angel. Whether she was awake or asleep, she’d still look beautiful. I sometimes still think about the devil that was her father, the one who raped me, and wondered if he ever regret what he did to me. He was high that time, I remember for sure. But besides that, I don’t remember much. I didn’t get to study his face or anything because everything felt hazy and I was pushed against the wall so hard the back of my head hit the brick surface.

I shook the thought away from my head and tried to join in the conversation, looking back and forth between the three boys sitting across from me. They were laughing at something I didn’t quite catch and I felt so out of it. I decided to listen in to their conversation but my mind kept drifting back to my past. I wonder what would happen if these boys found out what had happened to me.

“Something wrong?” Luke asked, his eyebrows furrowed in something that could only be concern.

I shrugged and smiled at him, “Yeah, I guess.”

“Are you sure? You do seem a bit off,” Michael said, looking at Luke and then back at me again.

“I’m sure,” I said, faking a smile.

“Okay,” Luke smiled back at me with that unsure look on his face, putting his hand on my knee and squeezing it. I gave him a small smile and finished eating my half-melted ice cream.

~

Luke drove me home and I invited him over for some coffee if he wanted to stay. We were still sitting inside his car, staring straight ahead and sharing quick glances and small smiles.

“That would be lovely, Elliot, but I’m afraid I have to go. I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?” He smiled hopefully.

“Of course,” I said, not missing a beat, smiling back at him.

“Great then,” he leaned over the center console of his car and kissed my cheek swiftly before hurryingly opening his car door and jumping out. I sat in there for a moment, my cheeks flushing as I held a sleeping Lucy in my arms. Luke jogged around the bonnet of his car and to my side, opening my door for me. He bit back a shy smile, his adorable dimples on full display.

I carefully slid out of the vehicle and stepped onto the pavement. Luke offered to carry Lucy upstairs as I carried her pram. I fished my keys out of my bag and put it in the slot, opening the door. I pushed Lucy’s stroller inside and took Lucy from Luke, careful not to wake her up.

“Bye, see you tomorrow,” Luke waved at me. I smiled at him and watched him go down the stairs before shutting the door quietly with my hip. I should make a mental note to lock the door after I put Lucy to bed. I walked to our room and put Lucy in her crib, pulling a blanket over her. A knock sounded on the door and I wondered if it was Luke. I immediately went to the door and opened it to reveal a tired-looking Calum.

“Hey,” I said, surprise taking over my features. I didn’t quite expect him to turn up at my doorstep.

“May I come in?”

“Uh, yeah, sure,” I told him quietly, opening the door wider. He stepped in and I walked towards my room, remembering that I should be unpacking right now. He followed me into my room and sat at the edge of my bed. I opened the closet and pulled Lucy and I’s suitcases so that I could start unpacking.

“I’m sorry about earlier. I just… wasn’t in the mood to… never mind. I’m just sorry,” he mumbled, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck.

I gave him a small smile and said, “It’s fine.” He watched me put away my clothes one by one, some folded and some placed on a hanger.

“How can you have that much clothes?” Calum asked with an amused expression on his face.

I laughed slightly, “Well, it’s like my therapy.” Calum looked at me confusedly and I suddenly wished I hadn’t said anything. I added, “Kind of like when I’m bored. I go into retail therapy. It instantly makes me feel better.”

“Girls. I would never understand you,” he laughed. I laughed with him and put away the rest of my clothes, grabbing Lucy’s suitcase and putting away her clothes next.

“Lucy is like a mini-version of you; she’s so Goddamned cute,” Calum smiled, looking at Lucy adorably sleeping in her crib.

“She is a total sweetheart,” I looked at him, smiling. “I just wish I didn’t have her that early. Not that I regret having her. I love her to death.”

“What happened to the father?” Calum questioned, finally looking at me.

I stopped midway putting Lucy’s dresses in her closet and turned to Calum. “I—I really don’t know, I don’t want to talk about it,” I snapped, tears forming in my eyes. “You should probably go.” I quickly turned my head away when Calum stood up worriedly, approaching me. I didn’t mean to come off as rude but I just didn’t like talking about it.

“Hey, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked. And I’ll go, if that’s what you want,” Calum said as he crouched down beside me, putting a hand on my back and rubbing it. I felt tingles fly all over my body when he touched me. I know now’s not the right time to feel this way but I couldn’t help it. This little crush I have on Calum can’t be ignored.

“I’ll go,” he said, leaning down a bit to look into my eyes. “Talk to you soon.” I nodded and he stood up. I sure do hope he didn’t hear my heartbeat going crazy for a moment there. I followed him out of my room and led him out to my front door.

sorry it took me so long to update i had to study for this huge exam and yeah

thank you for reading ilysm