Muted

Chapter 12

                   

"Hey Aurora! Wait up!" a voice called from behind me. I opened the door to my room and stuck my head out; Seeing that it was Adrian trying to catch me, I opened the door wider.

"Hey, umm so I don't want to push you, but I really think that we should talk about that picture, the one you drew this morning?"

Taking a deep breath to steady myself, I pulled my phone from my pocket.

"Why do you want to know so badly?"

"Because whether or not you feel like it yet, you are part of the family. And this picture was... unnerving I guess is what I'm trying to say."

"It's just a picture."

"Are you sure? Because you looked pretty freaked out that I saw it."

I took a second before responding, a nauseous feeling creeping up the back of my throat.

"What is it you want me to say?"

"I want you to tell me the truth Ari. I know that you haven't known us all very long and that we can be overwhelming, but we care. Even Tyler was concerned when you were in the nurses office I heard. And I'm worried for you."

Stop it. Just let it go.

"I'm fine."

Just walk away.

"Did you even know that you drew that though? Was it something you made up? A memory?"

I didn't respond this time.

"Ari, you unknowingly drew a dark picture of a women, holding a beer bottle." He was starting to get frustrated with me. "You don't think we should worry about that?"

Stop asking. Please. Stop it!

I stared blankly at his chest. I didn't know what to say, what to do. I just didn't know; The nausea continued to grow.

"Ari... Ma told us that you were from a neglectful home, but... was is worse than that? Did she..."

"Not all of us were gifted with Paige White as a mom." I typed quickly.

Before he could stop me, and before I threw up on his feet, I shut the door and locked it behind me.

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Avoidance isn't the healthiest way to avoid your problems, but it is the easiest. The next few days consisted of me going out of my way to avoid everyone. I either was with Guardian or in my room. Sometimes Hunter would wander up and lie next to me while I drew or bothered Guardian by constantly sniffing at him. Sam also snuck into my room on occasion, we did small puzzles together or when he would peek in my door and see that I was drawing, then I would hear his little feet running down the hall and then back again; this time his arm would be filled with his paper and crayons and we would sit on my window seat and draw together. Adrian had tried to talk to me again but whenever that happened I would just stare off into the distance knowing from experience that he would eventually leave me alone. I know it's rude but I'm just tired of all the questions, of people trying to delve into my past. I even had a few more appointments with Mrs. Jules and she too kept pushing, asking about Mom- did I miss her? Did I miss my home? How did I feel about this? Or that? The keep telling me it's because they care or are just trying to help, but I've been on my own for years and I don't know how to cope with all this attention. Funnily enough, it was Tyler that helped the most.

We were sitting at the dinner table and Adrian, as well as Daniella, kept trying to include me in every aspect of their conversation. Paige kept offering me more helpings, Peter was asking questions about how I was liking school. Even Carson was trying to tell me about this new car he was working on. I thought my heart was going to explode from how fast it was going and how overwhelmed I was. My palms were sweaty and I could feel the familiar ache behind my eyes as tears started to gather.

A few more seconds and Tyler snapped.

"Oh for the love of – People! Aurora is not going to break into a million pieces if you don't look at her or ask her a question every five seconds!" he huffed before continuing his meal. Silence followed his words, everyone wearing shocked expressions – their eyes flicking between us.

"So...great Job with dinner tonight Ma" Jake contributed gently, trying to diffuse the tension in the room. It seemed to do the job as after that everything went back to normal, minus the head exploding. I gave Tyler a shy smile, to which he just frowned at and took another bite of his potatoes.

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Adding some colour to my almost finished drawing, I looked up when a knock sounded at my door.

"Hey Sweet-Pea, mind if I come in?" Paige asked softly.

Nodding I sat up on the bed as she sat in front of me.

"So, I know this is probably an uncomfortable topic but Adrian has come to me with some concerns..." I sharply looked up at her words, my fingers clenching around my sketch book.

"I know you must not want to think about this but-"

Flipping to the back of my book I started to write, my phone being across the room on my desk.

"What do you need to know?"

"Did she drink a lot?"

"Why?"

"I just want to know, so that I know how I can help you."

"You already help me."

"Oh Aurora, did she...did she do something to you? Is... is that why you don't speak? Does it hurt?" Her voice was starting to waver, her chin beginning to wobble.

How is knowing this supposed to help anybody? Don't tell her, you'll only make it worse. Look she already looks like she is going to cry!

I don't think this will help, but I'll try.

"She didn't like it when I made noise. It made her angry. She never listened anyway. No one did."

Her eyes filled with tears.

"I'm fine Paige, really."

"That awful women! Why I could just-" she huffed angrily. When her eyes flicked back to me, they softened again.

"You are safe here Love. You know that right?"

I nodded.

"And Sweet-Pea you could tell me anything in the world and I'd listen. I'd listen for days if you needed me to. If you want to speak you can."

"I don't... think I know how to anymore. It has been a long time."

Her face fell even further if that was possible.

"But do you think, that you could teach me to use sign language? Jake said you know how and it sounds better than writing/typing all the time."

"Oh of course! We can start right away; the boys can help too! That way you are learning all the time. And Sweet-Pea whenever you are ready, we can go to a doctor or a specialist to help you with your voice."

"Maybe we can just start with signing. By the way, how come you forced the boys to learn to?"

"You got it, and because I think it is an important skill to have, some people have to work twice as hard to function in this world of ours. And I think it wouldn't hurt us any to help. I had a friend in college who was Hard of Hearing and she taught me so that communicating would be easier. Plus, it certainly came in handy for us today! Okay so let's start with the basics, this is how you sign 'A'..."