Somewhere I Belong

When this began

Author's Foreword: In Japan, names are formally said with surname first (not "I am Jack Jones" but "I am Jones Jack"), also writing and reading in japanese can take years to learn, especially all the different kanji.

Based on a true story.

The bells rang and we all poured in. A better way to say this would be they poured in and I followed. I had nightmares about this day, that is I daydreamt about how bad this place will be. Although I'm young, I'm very aware of everything that hapens, my parents call it a gift while I tend to refer to it as a curse. It's hard to live surrounded by people who only care about friends and toys, while you are solving math problems and writing pointless scribbles. I didn't have any friends, I spent most of my time reading books with my mother, which is probably why I'm so smart.

"Hotaru, Mai" A female voice brought me back to attention. "Yes, here." I said, raising myself from the chair and bowing formally in front of my new teacher. And here comes the question "Where are your parents Mai?"

"My dad is on a buisness trip and my mom is busy at work sensei,"  I used this reply very often. My mother actually worked from home, worked most of the day, and I might as well say that she was a genius. When I said she was reading with me, what I really meant was I tried to read while she corrected me from her memory. She also taught me english, math and how to handle a computer. My dad was a buisnessman and worked from home aswell, spare for the rare buisness trip here and there. He was the head of the family and most of our conversations were about literature, science or just pointless talk. My parents are not what you would call loving parents, but they are good nonetheless. Slowly crossing back to reality I stared at the blackboard covered with kanji of me and my classmate's names.

"Uh, s-sensei, the kanji for my name is wrong." I nervously said, raising my hand. It must've been more of a squeak because I heard some kids and grown ups snort or grin ever so slightly. "Oh yes, I'm so sorry Mai..." the teacher replied and went to wipe out the kanji and then suddenly stopped. She turned around to face me and wearily asked "Can you read? Or did you just learn how to write your name?" I nodded my head and explained to her how my mom taught me how to read and write. I was getting glared at now by some kids and sized up by grown ups. I knew this place would suck.

***

I know now how stupid of a thing it was, but back then it felt so frustrating, like I couldn't do anything about it.

The kids will always find a way to bully you, and these kids were the same. My bag was flying from person to person, odd stuff falling out randomly. I was desperately trying to get my bag back, but I failed every time I tried. Their laughters and taunts were driving me insane, mocking me... What have I done to deserve this?

I was becoming more closed off, spending most of my time in my room away from everything, crying my eyes out. My insomnia was even more fuelled by this, I already didn't sleep much, and with these things in mind I got near to no sleep. I should probably mention why my insomnia went unnoticed by my patents. My parents had sex every night, a wall away from me. Our walls were basically paper thin so I heard everything that was going on and it was horrible. My dad was very rough with mom but she seemed to like it. Her moans and his panting and the clashing of their hips pierced the night's silence, impacting on me like a dagger stabbing me over and over again

You'd probably think that the teachers  would help me and stop the bullying right? Well, no, they didn't. They were kinda fed up with how I aced every exam and gave me.worse grades on purpose. My parents found out about this and the bullying just before the end of my second year in school. They made me transfer schools and for a while, everything was okay.