THIS BOOK IS TRANS*

That horrid feeling...

So here's a lil' story.
Yesterday i p much went through every emotion ever at some point. i was just changing emotion every 5 minutes and i have no clue why.
But let's just say i was a girl. Still am rn. But there was like an hour last night that i was super duper hyper and bubbly. and like was kinda totally embracing being a girl? like i felt totally happy with it and that was so nice and fun until it hit me....
That feeling of wanting to tear out your own soul, scream and cry. Bc u no ur not rlly a girl.... not on the outside and u never will be bc later on u wont want that so wts the point and just everything feels off bc ur uncomfortable and u then burst into tears. the thoughts of hating ur gender then come in which leads to general thoughts of self hate and lack of worth and u become rlly down and horrible and just ugh. life feels pointless....