Un/Traditional ( dark mafia romance)

thousand reasons why.

Unedited.

So before you guys read I would like to make an announcement. I have entered this story in Wattys2018 I still don't know how it works but if any of you guys do then please support my story. It would mean a lot. And since all my readers have been so kind I really hope you support my story. OK I'm done blabbing now.☺☺☺☺☺

Leon stares at me. His eyes unrevealing. It makes me nervous. Being alone with him is a mentally exhausting task. I take shifted glances across the room.

I am extremely embarrassed about having a panic attack in front of Leon. Words cannot describe my mortification.

"You look like shit" Leon tells me with an expressionless face.

"Well no shit Sherlock. I just had a fucking panic attack. I feel like shit as well and your face isn't making it any better." Is what I want to retort with but I merely reply with a simple "I know" and try to fix my hair with my hands.

But this effort doesn't help in the least. I know I still look like shit. And Leon knows it too.

There is an awkwardness in Leon's body I can even sense it in the air. He looks... cautious. The room feels suffocating in his awkward presence.

To end the awkward atmosphere I get up to go the washroom. But my limbs seem not to be cooperating. I almost fall from the bed but catch myself in time.

Leon hasn't moved. Not even to help me. He merely watches me like I am a time bomb waiting to explode. I guess my panic attack episode has made him weary of me.

He must think I'm crazy. I hasten my steps and quickly run to the bathroom. I close the door double checking that it's locked.

I stand in front of the mirror and look at myself. Leon's right I do look like shit.

The bitch in the reflection looks like stranger. A stranger whose eyes are filled with fear and darkness. As I stare at myself I realize that who I've become like ..... Someone I vowed I would never become.

I look like my mother.  Similar shell of a woman like her. Too pathetic to pity. Helpless like her.

I wasn't even married to Leon yet and already I had become so miserable.

How the hell was I suppose to survive a lifetime with him???

Was this going to be my life now?

Cold and lonely.

In five days Leon and I are going to get married again. I don't think I can do this.

I shake all the thoughts plaguing me and hop into the shower. I turn the shower to the highest setting. The hot water provides some clarity. My skin burns but my mind is clear.

I shampoo my hair in a mechanical motion but my mind drifts to the moments when I hadn't been so miserable.

It was near Christmas. My first year of high school in America was ending. I was in the hospital with Allison. We mostly spend our time sitting in the uncomfortable hospital chairs while Allison's mother underwent chemotherapy.

But on that day we huddled in her room drinking hot chocolate and watching Christmas movies.
It was one of the best day's of my life.

It felt so right sitting and smiling at the cheesy movie dialogues. It had felt so warm.  I felt like I belonged there. Thinking about it brought an instant smile on my face.

Knock knock.

My happy trip down memory lane is interrupted by a knock on the bathroom door.

"Yes" I say loudly so that my voice could be heard .

"You have been inside for more than an hour. Hurry up! I need to talk to you." Leon barks.

I sigh. He won't even let me wallow in my pity in peace. Why must he ruin everything. My dislike for him increases as I turn the shower off.

Taking a fresh towel from the cupboard I began to dry myself quickly. I have no clothes to wear so I wrap myself in a towel and enter the bedroom.

Leon is sitting on the bed staring at me with his soulless eyes. After what seems as an eternity he finally speaks up "mother has invited us for dinner".

"Mother- oh but she isn't your mother is she" I think maliciously but only nod at him.

He walks closer leaning to kiss me on the cheek. And he whispers slowly in my ears " I'll meet you at the restaurant. Be careful not to have a panic attack my dear". I clench my fists which ache to punch him on his face and I exhale to keep calm. Giving me  one last smug look he exits.
One of these days I might slap the shit out of him I swear.

                    --------_--------
                    

Just as I finish getting ready someone knocks on my bedroom door.

I yell out a quick "come in".

A maid enters to inform me that Adele my soon to be mother in law has arrived.

Well surprise surprise. This day just keeps on getting better and better.

I greet Adele with fake enthusiasm and a smile. An art which I had mastered since childhood.

She carries herself with elegance and poise which I lack. It makes me a tad bit envious. But her eyes look tired. Almost as soulless as Leon's.

Would I also look like her when I'm her age.

She smiles but hers isn't as fake as mine.  Or maybe she's a better actress than me. "I wanted to pick you up since Leon could not. I hope you don't mind" she explains.

"Of course I don't mind. We have hardly had  time to hang out together". I say not meaning it one bit.

" I know dear but I have a solution for that. You see.. we have a "gathering" just us ladies every month. After your marriage you and your sister are welcome to come." She tells me.

I hadn't expected an invitation to the dark side. I had heard of this "gathering" before. My step mother Chloe  had been invited to one when she had married my father . She had returned home crying. She had been my father's mistress every one knew.  And for this reason she had been insulted so badly that she never went to the gathering again. I shiver even thinking about it.

I neither accept her invite nor decline it  managing to give her a smile.

But she holds my hand and pulls me close. She isn't smiling anymore her face completely serious. "These are dangerous waters you swim in my dear. Everyone here is a shark hungry for power and money. You need allies here to survive. What I offered you just now is an opportunity...An opportunity to make allies do you understand? Now answer me my child. Would you like to come to our gathering?"

"Of course I would love to go."  I reply nodding my head profusely. And she lets me go.

" Good!! Let's go then. We wouldn't want to keep Leon's father waiting." She says lightly but I don't miss the slight trembling in her voice.

This was going to be an eventful dinner.
God help me.

That's it for this chapter. I would like to thank all my lovely readers for being patient with my slow updates. I love you all!!!! Please don't forget to vote, comment and share. And have a nice day.