one shots

Depression Series- Him

  Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Time keeps passing although it feels non-existent. It is non-existent. And yet it seems to move more than you feel you can. Pass on, forget about you and keep going. Now it's 11. Cemented to the mattress with some unknown documentary series on the television just to show how long has supposedly passed. Hands holding you there by your waist to make sure mentally you never disappeared. Physically you couldn't leave whether he wanted to hold you to him or not. It feels like you're frozen in spot with no chance to move beyond tossing and turning as it keeps you from sleep as well as leaving. His touch barely keeps you from being completely zoned out. How his hand would shift to not lose feeling. The motion bringing you back to reality. You want to be asleep like he is, be able to join him. Treat him to dates and kiss his lips, not be affected by this numbness keeping you here as he stays by your side like no one else has been patient enough to handle before. Close your eyes. Count his heartbeats. The only real time keeping method you care about. Making sure it was real and he was there. No matter what the clock said it wasn't taking him from you yet. How thankful you were of that couldn't be expressed. Even while you were a victim to numbness, stuck down a path of emotions you couldn't even feel at times, and you were not even sure what it was that was even a supposed trigger this time. Just empty with a swollen heart. His closed eyes meet your dull ones until they began to shine again. Then your eyes close for real, a small smile for the first time that day. Now it is 12. Now you don't feel alone. Now you feel the time his heart marks for you rather than your clock in the heart shaped necklace around your neck. Now you finally can move into him, be facing him. Finally can sleep