Home is no longer coming back and checking the fridge. Its coming home and rewarding yourself. You didn't eat today, so you didn't gain weight so you won't disappoint them again. Without spending all your time on food now you can focus on other things. This is a good thing, you tell yourself.
Come home to sunken cheeks, yellow skin and hoping, praying no one asks you what you had to eat. No one did before so why should they now? You still don't look sick like your grandpa so it's not a worry yet. At least you lost six pounds.
He called himself the king of Canada. Now his only crown is the circle of cigarette butts in the round ash tray. Always tired and waiting for the end to come.
Afraid of what tomorrow brings. Afraid of what you'll lose when the sun comes up once again. Not that the moon never came with issues, but rather it's the sun that brings the people that cause you to face them. At night you can be alone. You can be a pagan pacifist without complaint. In the day is every reminder that you can't fix everything. Or anything at all. Keep going keep going keep going keep going. Get cravings in the night to bring metal across to empty veins. You push it away but that doesn't make eating any easier. You're not the worst case, you have weight to lose in everyone's eyes, so why should you speak up on it. Some people do it out of necessity anyway, a lack of time due to work or other explanations like that. Just as long as it looks like you reach 1200 no one suspects a thing.
YOU ARE READING
one shots
Fanfictionmoving these here from quotev so i can clear out my published folder on there. Basically one part writings i've gathered on there in various points of time
