Fingertips | ✓

eleven

The week that followed was one I would never forget.

I didn't bother you after what happened that night. You didn't want to see me and I was too humiliated to see you. I didn't want to bother you and yet you were all I thought about. You were all I could think about.

You were becoming a father.

You were going to father a child.

You were going to father Cheryl's child.

It made me feel angry and devastated. You told me, as you hit the door in front of my face, that Cheryl and you were back together, that you might not be a hundred percent content with the relationship but you were still happy and so you would appreciate if I stepped away and kept the fuck out of your life. Your words, not mine. And I had to take the blow of them, standing there dumbly outside your door, before you slammed it in my face.

I had tried my best to keep my composure but the second I stepped into an Uber the tears could not be held back. I felt partly sorry for the driver as he had to witness the mess that I was in but I didn't feel sorry enough to stop crying.

My heart was heavy.

And it was not because of you.

It was all because of fucking Cheryl.

It was my intense hatred, my blind love, that had driven me off the edge.

I thought I'd committed a crime against myself. I hit an all time low that night that I almost forcefully took you. I was crazed over you.

You were my drug and I wasn't getting enough of you in my system. I needed you in my system if I was going to go on. The only way to get you into my system was to get rid of the problem.

And since you were too much of a coward to get rid of Cheryl, I thought you'd be thankful that I was brave enough to do it for you.

The child was the only reason you were willing to stay in the relationship, was it not?

In the frenzy that took over my mind and claimed my soul, I refused to see all the major details that stared at me. If I did notice them I wouldn't have been standing outside of your girlfriend's house, ringing the doorbell repeatedly.

The door opened and revealed a stressful looking woman. I'd seen Cheryl once. We'd gone to a pub on a double date night, my date being rather boring, and that's where I'd met your bitch of a girlfriend. She was pretty. I'll give her that.

Okay —she was fucking gorgeous.

And you, the stupid fool that you were, fell head over heels for her only to have her break up with you. I didn't know the full story. How she broke up with you or why she broke up with you. But it didn't matter. Because the two of you were back together and I needed to remedy this problem. I needed to break you two apart.

"Kareena," she said, her tone hinting that she was surprised to see me.

We went through the formalities and I have to tell you, Bradley, it was fucking torturous. Your girlfriend had a mouth that lasted for days. She wouldn't shut up.

"I heard you and Brad were back together," I said sharply, cutting off whatever monologue she had going on. I barely listened as she droned on, sitting on the opposite couch to mine. She hadn't even mentioned you. How boring.

"Yeah," she beamed, her thick curls from her afro framing her face beautifully. I hated that she looked so goddamn beautiful. "I made a mistake breaking up with him."

"Hmm," I murmured, taking a sip of my lukewarm tea. "And why exactly did you break up with him?"

She smiled sheepishly. For someone who loved to talk she seemed at a loss for words. Finally, after thinking over what she would say, she spoke up. "I found out I was pregnant and Brad and I had talked about kids before. He didn't want to have any. And I... Well, I didn't give it much thought. If it happened, I'd proudly raise a child but if it didn't I'd be okay with that too. And then I found out I was pregnant and... Everything changed."