Tokyo Ghoul: Not so Maneki Neko

Child Hood

•Child-Hood• 

 I..."What are—you doing?" There wasn't enough time to close the door. A minute ago, I was happy, ready to finally tell my parents that I'd just gotten honor roll again, ready to continue supporting my family for the future. But when I opened the door, the first thing I saw was blood. Blood, everywhere. It made me sick, to my stomach. My nostrils opened up to the pungent smell of what seemed like a rotting animal that's been deceased for weeks. "M–mommy, Daddy?" Why...why was my body shaking? Why was i so...numb? I fell to the ground, body quivering uncontrollably, all I wanted to do was hold myself tight and hope that this feeling went away. There was no mistaking it. I saw them both, tearing off pieces of dead flesh. Their mouths...full of bones and intestines, and other unidentified body parts. So much so, I wanted to puke. "Mommy! Daddy! Why?!" I couldn't stop screaming their names over and over again, watching them now looking straight into my eyes with theirs. So distorted...black sclera, red iris...veins pulsating across their faces. They were monsters. "Nozomi, i–it's not what it looks like!" Mother, I wanted to believe her but the truth was right in front of my eyes. How could I turn away and pretend like nothing happened? Even her hair, the same hair I loved so much was stained with the corpse's blood. I watched her frantically wipe her mouth with her sleeve, but that only made it worse. "

"You see, we were just— "Stay away from me!" My father, was next. He forced a smile onto his face that only terrified me. That same smile, he wore when he was proud of me. In all those pictures with his colleagues from work? My birthday? And today... That smile means nothing to me now. He got up from the ground, hands stretched out to touch me, while he neared step by step. "Come, it's not that bad." He said. Not that bad... "Don't touch me!" But he kept coming. I looked to my right, grabbing the vase that was sitting on the small table, and hurled it as hard as I can–out of fear–towards my father. He stopped in his tracks as soon as the glass shattered, on the ground. "Get away! Get away! Stay away from MEEEE!" I hurried to pick up a piece of broken glass, and held onto it as tight as I could while cuts started to form on my fingers and palm. It hurt. but I ignored the pain. "Don't come any closer!!!!" Father stopped, with a look of shock on his face. I remembered right then and there, what it felt likeTo be filled with utter and complete terror. To stare death straight in the eyes, and fight with yourself to overcome it. "I...are we really that disgusting?" He looked over to mother, who was still on the ground watching by at the scene. They weren't the same... Dad made his way back over to her, and pulled mother back onto her feet then exchanged glances. "I guess we shouldn't hide this from you anymore." They smiled? "STAY AWAY!" The two of them approached me so casually...i'm going to die. I'm going to die... But, the complete opposite had occurred. "We're so sorry that we lied to you Nozomi. We're ashamed, all we wanted was to have you live a normal life." Mom continued. "Now it's ruined isn't it?" What... "No matter, we still love you." And, they hugged me. ... from that day forth I swore to never love my parents ever again. I hated them for being this way. I hated them for lying, for sinning. Everyday, I'd come home...and I could never look at them the same again. Never. I started the nightmares, that would end up giving me even more trauma to my body. I'd wake up screaming and throwing up. I just didn't believe in family any longer. Then one day..."Nozomi!" It was Naoyuki~ He was so cute. Every time I saw him my heart wanted to dance. "How are you?" He smiled sweetly, greeting me with happiness."Congratulations on making the high honor roll again, you really are brilliant aren't you?" Brilliant..."Thank you, Naoyuki-kun. But, I'd never be as great as you...every year for as long as i can remember you'd rank number one in our entire school." I blushed. He was so smart...i couldn't ever compete with him. Seconds later Naoyuki went into a daze. Lifting his arm up, Naoyuki faced different directions scanning the hallways. "Truth is...I did it all to impress you." I jumped "Impress me?" "Yeah, you're just so cool! You've actually been my inspiration, you know? To try hard...it sounds weird doesn't it?" Naoyuki questioned, laughing later on. I loved his laugh..."Wait, me?"He nodded. "Well...you, are always so independent." Naoyuki paused. "I've been watching by the sidelines, jealous of it. You don't need anyone." He talked as if that was a good thing. But I guess, that's how he saw me. Independent...no, just alone. "I wish I can be more like you, Nozomi...which is why... i developed feelings for you." Thump...thump...sprrr.... "You...have feelings, for—(someone like) me?" Naoyuki bowed in front of me, not able to look me in the eyes. "Do you want to go on a date with me?" My skin caught fire just then. And again, i felt that I could continue to smile. "Of course." It was the happiest moment in my entire existence. But it was also my saddest. I don't know what it was. I was just so hungry, all of a sudden. I hadn't eaten for months because I didn't think I needed to. All I could think about was how good Naoyuki smelled. Then...only moments later, I found myself eating his corpse too.The tastiest part of him, was his heart. My brain screamed for me to stop, but my body couldn't help itself. My mouth hadn't tasted anything so wonderful, I thought that I would die without it. And I hated myself. Half of my brain was distracted from reality and mixed with fear. Again, I felt like I was fighting myself. To stay sane. To take back control of what once was Nozomi. At least now...we could be together. I came home. My fingers laid on the finger nob, gently twisting open the door, to an empty house...I, not only despise myself...but i chose to torture my body and get rid of it. I, killed my parents and I ate them. That way, this history could be erased. No more pain. I walked into the bathroom, to be welcomed by the monster in the mirror: Me. My eyes had been the same as them. My body, deformed from what it used to be. My school uniform was drenched in red, and my hair was...like my mom's just then. I wonder if that smile I had when I made Naoyuki apart of me, was real.