A Fractured Fairytale

Chapter 12-Secrets

I sipped the hot chocolate, as the marshmallows bobbing at the surface like buoys in the sea, came in contact with my lips. A sudden warmth entered my body, defeating the chill that was once controlling it, as the warm drink slid down my throat and somehow soothed the butterflies in the pit of my stomach.

“I knew you would like marshmallows with yours because you are just like your mum. She used to like it that way too.” Dad said her name, proudly, but with the sudden silence, which followed his words, you could see that it was still a very sensitive subject for us all. Julia scratched her neck, uneasily, whilst trying to collect the right words to put the tense atmosphere at ease. “Hey look at that chocolate moustache!” Julia laughed pointing at my top lip, a smile sneaking across her lips, which was suffocated in lipstick.

“Don’t laugh, I grew it especially for today!” I joked, pressing my sleeve against my lips and wiping the chocolate mess away, leaving a stain behind on my jumper.

Julia smiled, then she placed her mug back down on the china mat, where it belonged, anything would’ve be better than in Julia’s awkward, sweaty palms as she pretended everything was fine. She stood up, leaning her body weight on the table as she did so, “Right, I better be going.”

“Yes okay.” Dad agreed, tidying her mug away and placing it in the sink beneath the window. Dad paused, resting his hands on the window sill for a few seconds, his shoulders hunched up high, as he watched a small blackbird being re-united with its mother and hopping clumsily back into the nest, where his brothers and sisters welcomed him home. The nest was sown together messily with twigs and dirt, but it was still their very own home, which they felt safe in. Dad stayed completely still, like he had become stuck in wet cement and didn’t have the ability to move. As his back was turned, Julia slipped a slither of paper underneath my mug, discreetly, and put her finger to her lips as if to say, ‘shh.’ Her action was like another language, it could speak words, that everyone could fluently speak, and at once I knew that the tiny piece of paper was meant to be a secret. Another secret that would be kept from dad. There was meant to be no more secrets, but I couldn’t help being sucked into a lie again, so I muted my voice as it attempted to escape into the atmosphere.

“Right okay, I will see you out Julia.” Dad turned around, snapping out of his daydream. I could see that tears glossed over dads eyes but he fought them back, making sure that they didn’t trickle down his cheeks. For a second I felt sorry for him, but I guessed it was a moment of weakness, a moment where he wasn’t angry and didn’t know how to feel.

I stayed sitting at the kitchen table, whilst dad saw Julia out of the house, but it wasn’t like I couldn’t hear their conversation.

“You know, whatever happens,” dad began, “I will always be grateful that you have helped me out.”

Julia nodded, the silence spoke for her, alerting dad that he wasn’t yet forgiven. Would he ever be? It was hard to know at this point in time.

“I am only human. Humans make mistakes, you of all people should know this.” I got up from the table, wondering how many secrets had been kept from me.

“You’re not who you used to be, you know. Humans don’t make mistakes like that.” Julia retorted, anger riding from her lips. “They are your children, you are meant to look after them no matter what!”

“I am still the old me, Julia, I always will be!”

My feet had followed the voices by this point and I stood there, in the dark hallway, like a witness. I felt like a shadow: unnoticed but seeing everything. I saw dad grab Julia’s hand, attempting to pull her back, but she snatched it away as soon as their hands came into contact. It was as if when he touched her, she got electrocuted and so she had no choice but to pull her hand away. Julia slammed the door, behind her, shaking the whole house, before dad could plummet another useless excuse, at her, that he would later regret.