How to Be A Stripper (Bakugou x Reader) AU

The Uniform~ 2

I made my way to the back with my bags and came face to face with a large woman with blonde hair wearing a maid's costume.

Is this a guy...?

(F*ck normal fan fictions.)

"HO HO, WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU YOUNG SLUT?" The wo(man) said with a huge smile on her face while standing next to the backstage curtain. (That's not the only thing that's huge. *cough* Bakugou's Dïck *cough*)

A sweat drop appeared above my head. "I-I was wondering if I could get a job here...?"

The big blonde lady(?) nodded her head. "I like your charisma!! You can be our new waitress!" she shouted as she shoved a tiny uniform into my arms that she pulled out of her ass.(..?)

"T-that's not exactly-"

Then she walked away. I sweat dropped and went to the Lady's bathroom to change.

Once I opened the stall I was met with a stinky toilet and writing all over the wall. In the next door over some girl was throwing up.

I threw on my uniform and looked at myself in the big mirror above the sink.

Holy f*********cking shit.

I LOOK HOT. *I lifted my hair up and winked at myself in the mirror* "Better than most. Heheh."

HAHA JK I AM CRAP.

Reality: I walked over to mirror and looked at my face with a frown. "I wish I was attractive~" I whined in the mirror.

The chick who was throwing up earlier in the other stall came out and immediately slapped my ass.

"I'd tap thaattttt~" she spoke and BLINKED at me.

"Thanks..." I scratched the back of my head and grabbed my other clothes, shoved it into my bags, and walked out with them. As I walked over to the bar and shoved my bags under the counter, I felt myself being watched.

"Oi idiot! What the f*ck do you think you're doing?!?!"

I looked up and saw that blond guy from earlier. Currently, I was on the floor trying to get away with hiding my bags, but that angry guy found me. He scares me...

"O-oh!" I sweat dropped and stood up with weak knees. "You don't need that space~ right~?" My voice cracked as I tried to hide my anxiety.

"What. the. f*ck. ARE. YOU. DOING. DAMMIT!!!!" he shouted in my ear.

I tried to not cowardly back away and cleared my throat. "I got a job here..." I pressed my two fingers together while trying not to look at him. "I need somewhere to put my bags for now~"

The ticked off blond grabbed the collar of my shirt. He stared me dead in the eye with the fury of a thousand angry geese.

"You better not be a waste of time brat..."

He let go of me and pointed at a Thousand Island drink. "Start with table seven," he grumbled.

I nodded quickly, grabbed it, and made my way over to table seven. Honestly, I was very nervous walking around in this skirt. My ass was practically exposed.

I shouldn't have worn my pink lace undies today...

Some dude slapped my ass and shoved a few bucks down my butt crack.

"Hey bitch! Get me a Jack Daniels! And if you shake your ass a bit I'll add a nice tip!"

My eyebrow twitched and I tried to hold back my anger. "S-sure..." A bright red tick mark appeared above my head as I walked over to table seven and placed down their drink.

I walked over to the bar and was met with a bartender with half red half white hair. "Cooool!!" I said while running up to the counter and smiling widely. "Your hair is cooler than the hobo's colored asshole down the street!!"

I closed my eyes and sat down on one of the seats while crossing my legs, held a hand up to my chin, and put a thinking face on. "Yet... his asshole was dyed rainbow and was trimmed very nicely... Ahhh I'm sorry..." I opened my eyes, set my hands down on the counter, and I unfolded my legs. "You take a close second place!!"

(Author's NOTE: OMG GUYS, I JUST THOUGHT OF SOMETHING- IS SHOTO'S PUBES TWO COLORS TOO? CAUSE IT CAN'T JUST BE RED OR WHITE, MAYBE IT'S HALF RED AND HALF WHITE!!!! OMGGGGG I WANT TO KNOW NOW!! Maybe if he grew out his armpit hair one side will be white and the other red- or maybe under each armpit is two colors...)

The look that guy's face was priceless.

Good job... you weirded him out.

He looked like it was his first time in Walmart and realized what kind of people shop there. (AN: *cough* love those pics online *cough*)