Can't keep meeting like this!

24

I woke up with what felt like a huge weight on my shoulders, i did not want to get out of bed or see anyone, my phone buzzed so i knew i had a text message but i wasn't bothered with reading it i just wanted to be left alone. I knew i couldn't go back in time but for one day i wish i could. ive been so happy here in Australia and met the most amazing people so would never like to think id try and do something stupid but i also know how hard life can be more than most.

By the age of 23 to have been planning a wedding to and it only being weeks away and for it all to be shattered into a million pieces by a drunken idiot. Don't get me wrong me and Tom were far from perfect but we loved each other and Layla more than anything and worked our arses off to provide for her. We argued like any normal couple but we soon made up and were laughing and joking together, We were skint a lot of the time but still made time for family days out.

My phone brought me back to reality when it wouldn't stop buzzing, after leaving it a few times and it not stopping i picked it up, it was my mum facetiming me. I quickly picked it up and plastered the smile on my face "hey mum"

"hey baby, how are you doing today?"

"yeah fine thanks" i fake smiled

"you don't have to pretend to me Kensie, i know how hard it must be for you today" i knew she would see straight through me

i literally burst into tears when she said that knowing i could let it all out.

"oh baby, i wish i could give you a hug, your dad is just in the shower but he will be here soon"

"i wish you were here mum, i feel like i really need you both today" i cried

"i know baby we will be there in a few weeks i promise, but for now you have the girls and all your friends, i'm sure Jesse's mum will be there for you whilst i cant be"

"i would be if i had told her, i'm guessing Jesse has but i know she doesn't like bringing it up unless i do as she doesn't want to upset me about it"

"oh Kensie after you've spoken to us you give her a ring, i don't want you being alone today and i know how strong willed you are and think you can handle it all on your own but this is the first anniversary and it will be the hardest, trust me we are all struggling today and miss them both like mad but we have been down to their tree next to your granddad's and laid flowers and had a little chat to them telling them what you've been up to" we had put some of their ashes in the ground and planted a tree next to my granddads tree so we had somewhere to go and visit them, the other lot of their ashes were scattered in the ocean as we loved going to the beach and me and Tom wanted to take Layla around the world so this way the could do it together.

"yeah i will i promise" deep down i knew Debbie would be amazing through all this i don't even know why i didn't speak to her about it. i know i have the girls and Jesse but i needed my mum and dad and Deb and Porky are the closest thing i have to one here. "Jesse has been great the past few days even when i've been distant and not myself" i smiled to mum

"and so he should, you have stuck by him even when he was messing you around so its only faur he stick by you through this, he seems like a lovely bloke now hes sorted himself out so im glad he's helping you"

"very true mum, oh hey dad" i smiled at him through the camera

"Hey darling, how are you? i love you you know"

that brought a tear to my eye as i'm such a daddies girl and not seeing him all the time is hard "yeah i'm as good as i can be, how are you? i know dad i love you so much too"

"you still in bed? you can't hide in your room all day, get yourself up showered and ready for the day, i know you don't want to but you need to at least move yourself downstairs"