Cheesy Much? (ON HOLD)

Chapter nineteen

Zara.

The only person and thought in my head for four days.
I have no idea where's she's gone and I don't even know who to ask. Zayn being a big fuck up like me, can't ask Anonna but I haven't talked to him since. I think I heard dad saying that he went back to Manchester however....I don't give a fuck. He's part of the reason why I'm not with Zara anymore. I've texted her many times but her stubbornness is just so argh! sexy and annoying at the same time.

Staring at the ceiling in my room isn't helping much either. Not having her presence makes me feel alone. I'm wrapped around her finger and If she loosens the grip on her fingers then I wont be able to live.

Every time she would text me, I would light up like a kid on a Christmas morning. In just a short amount of time, how can a girl just come into my life and effect me like this? Fuck, I've got it bad. It's just been days and I want to see her smile again.

One girl.

It took one fucking girl from my past who ruined not only my present but my future too. I'm such a big fuck up. I never knew I'll be in love let alone meet the most beautiful girl in my entire life. The way she always blushed when I complimented her just makes me want to kiss her lips until they're swollen. 'Ha, keep thinking that even though she'll never wanna be with you ever again' my subconscious taunts me. This makes me sigh exasperatingly. I look at my phone which is in my hand one more time, silently praying that she texted back...
Nope, no luck. God hates me that much but I don't blame him because I was the one who was drinking. I stare at the phone screen until I read over our convo's and find the most cutest one from a week ago...

Heyy babe, you want to come over to my house? No ones at home and I'm lonely :( -F

What are we gonna do?? -Z

I'll give you a hint. It involves screaming, pillows and covers... ;) -F

Omg! We're going to build a fort and play pirates under the blanket!! :D-Z

Hahaha! This is why I love you... -F

I smiled at this and soon it turned upside down. I wonder if she knew what I meant. I have a feeling she did though but didn't want to respond. She is soo cute and her insecurity makes me feel special and honoured that I can- could make her feel beautiful. I sigh sadly and look at other convo's.

I just wanted to say.... -F

What?? -Z

You're beautiful <3 -F

No I'm not, I'm ugly -Z

Babe! I just found out i'm pregnant :O -F

What?!! -Z

I thought we were stating things that were impossible :/ -F

I love you x -Z

I love you too xoxo -F

These were the moments that I couldn't, even if I tried to, forget. It's funny how I thought girls were just toys and relationships were stupid. I assume I was the biggest hypocrite in the world because guess what? I was in a relationship with Zara and loved every fucking second of it. I can still clearly remember how Zara left me kneeing on the ground in the pouring rain with tears that wouldn't stop and she never turned back once.

*Flashback*

"Zara, Please..." I mumbled, my voice shaking. At this point I was crying crazily and I think Zara knew because of the way she was assessing me. I can't bare to see her go without forgiving me but looking at her facial expression, I don't think she will and so my hope is not that high at the moment.
"I can't... I'm sorry" She whispered after some seconds. Even though it was a whisper I could hear her clearly. Her answer effected my whole body so much giving me the biggest shock I've ever had and just like that, she began walking away. All the air was knocked off of me.