Are you actually ill
Or are you just sick of me.
These are the thoughts
That encompase my brain after
You leave.
And I dont have the ability
To try and calm these thoughts
They'll just come back again
When I try to sleep.
I sit in my room for hours on end
Trying to pretend that these are all
Just parinoid thought.
But you will all inevetatibly leave me
And I will sit back happily,
bitterly.
As I watch you leave to be with
Someone who better suits your needs.
Which makes me truly happy for you
But also depressed because I thought
You were perfect for me.
So I sight here in my room
A tomb to all my thoughts that
Continue to comsume my mind.
Writing line upon line about how
Afraid I am of you leaving me,
And I want to post this poem to
Get rid of some parinoid thoughts
But now im terrified that you'll read
This and think that I dont trust you.
Which is not at all true,
I trust you more than anything else
In this world
Which is why im so hung up on the
Fact that you could leave.
With out a word, with out an idea of
Where you could have gone so that
I can't try to find you and fix things.
And in my time I have been a afraid
Of a lot of things,
Heights,
Falling,
Being forgoten,
Never being heard,
Being remembered for the wrong reasons,
But number one has always been
The possiblilty of losing you.
And so hear i am still sitting in the
Same room
Typing all my thoughts about
The possobility of losing you,
At this point I'm rambling not even
Sure if this poem makes sense,
Or if it will ever see another persons
Eyes.
And now I realize that im ready to end this poem.
But I dont know how,
I never been good at ending things
And I dont plan on starting now.
To my amazing friends,
If any of you ever read this i want you to know that I do truly love you.
You guys are my life and family and I dont ever want to lose you. But if you do please make it quick, I don't want you guys to be stuck with me if you dnot want to be. You are all amazing people and I want you to be happy, even if its not with me. I know that I can be all over the place and annoying when I talk, so please just try to forgive me. Please don't dwell on this poem or feel bad for the things I say in it, im not trying to make you feel bad for anything, I just need to get somethoughts out of my head. I have no Idea if any of it made sense any way. And im rambling again so im just gonna end it here. I love you guys more than anything in the world, you are beauriful, and awesome, and amazing people and I dont every want you to forget that.
With love, Zocia
❤💚💜💙🖤
