I was looking down at the hole in the ground, just staring at the box that was placed five feet under. I looked around at the mourning people, two of the people being my mum and dad My mum was being craddled in my dads arms while she was pouring her heart out. My dad was just sanding there trying to hold back the tears that were filling his eyes. he glanced over at me but i looked away as i didn't want them to see me like this. I had tryed to convince myself that it wasn't my fault that she was gone,but all i could think about was why i had done it? why?.
I snapped back to reality, still looking at the coffin. I didn't understand why it couldn't be me in there not her, she ment the world to me, i loved her so much. I looked across at the other side to see the priest speaking to a group of my family. They all looked tiered and heart broken. Our family seemed to be really close, if we ever needed any help they would be there, and they were there on every weekend, Birthday, Christmas and New Years. Part of me felt releived that they were here near us and wouldn't leave us in a state like this. They loved us and would help us through this time of need.
I had loads of memories of me and Lily, she was the best little sister ever. She was always smiling that cheeky smile and always holding her favourite teddy, Tiddles she had called it and it went with her everywhere. I remember one Christmas when Lily was about four we had went down the stairs to open our presents and as we entered the living room, sitting by the christmas tree was Lily, sitting happily by loads of ripped wrapping paper all around her. She gave out a little laugh as she seemed happy in what santa had brought her. Me and my parents had just looked at each other and burst out laughing. Lily joined in too and my mum and dad asked her what she had done and she told them that she couldn't wait for santa anymore so she went down the stairs and there was lots of presents left so she opened hers to see if he had left the right stuff and he did. We just laughed at her and went over to open ours, as i was opening mine i had seen the gutted look that Lily had placed on her face and i knew she was thinking 'Why didn't i wait?' I told her that she could help me and she practically choked me to death from the hug she gave me and said."Thank you Chwarlie." Thats what she called me. My name was Charlotte but everyone called me Chalie but Lily couldn't pronounce it properly, i found it cute.
Loads of memories had started filling my head, like my birthdays when Lily would give me hand made things she had decorated like mugs with pictures of us together glued all around them, the best one she made me was a photo albulm her and my parents had done. It had pictures of all of us in it, out on outings or on holidays, i loved it. As all the memories had come back i started to break down, i fell to the muddy ground even though it was raining, but i didn't care, i wanted her to jump out the coffin and wrap her arms around me and hold me close telling me that it was okay and she was here. I knew this wouldn't happen, i had started sobbing out my heart, i couldn't take it anymore, i tried to stay strong for my parents but i had to let it out. I sobbed louder gripping onto the wet grass, not wanting to let go, i felt streams of tears down my face but i couldn't be bothered wiping them away, my hair was soaked bcause of the rain and my clotes had become muddy. I let out a muffled shout, calling her name thinking that she would come running from behind one of the trees, but she didn't.
I was suddenly lifted up from my arms and craddled into a warm chest, my sobs quietined as i looked around, my mum and dad were in the same spot as they were before looking over at me heart broken and concerned but didn't come over, i didn't want them to. I looked up to see my little sisters, best friends brother Jack holding me close to him, he 'ssshhhh'd' me and told me that it was going to be okay and that he was here. Jacks little brother Timmy was Lilys best friend, they did everything together and they loved each other to peices. They were our neighbours and we often went on outings together and we were all really good freinds. Jack was holding me tight to stop me from falling, i placed my wet hands around his waist, not wanting to let go. He placed a kiss on the top of my wet hair and placed his chin on my head softly.
The headstone was placed through the muddy grass first and i turned and watched when they did, once they were finished putting it in place and stepped back i was glad i could read it. It read :
Lily Scott,
Lovinng Sister, friend and Daughter,
You will be sadly missed and will always be in our hearts.
R.I.P - 2006-2012
Love mummy,daddy, and big sister x
I didnt seem to cry at this, but broke down in sobs when they started filling the hole with mud. I clung to Jack fiercefully and he didn't object. I knew once they had finished that it ment that i would never see her coffin again. She was dressed in her favourite pick, puffy dress and dolly shoes and her hair was placed in pig tails. When i went to see her with my parents, i gasped at the sight. Her face no longer had the redness that it held, her cheeks had gone pale and she looked like she was sleeping but i knew she wasn't, her eyes looked tiered and her lips were almost white. I looked down as they were filling it and i knew she was under there lying helplessly. I didn;t want to think about this or see them burrying her so i closed my eyes and leant against Jacks chest as he continued to watch, silently. I wanted to remeber all the good times we had and never once forget her, i would think about her everyday until i died, and when that day comes, i could join her in that magical place in the sky.
hope you liked it :) there are more chapters to come soon :) thanks for reading :)
C.R <3
