Hiden -
I spent a couple of days up in my room hidden from my family and the outdoors. I knew my parents and family wanted to see me and missed me but i couldn't boost my confidence into seeing them just yet. I felt scared that when i did face them they would comfort me but in their heads they'd be judging me for what i did and i couldn't handle that.The food i needed to keep my strengh up was provided by my parents who would leave food outside my door for me to collect when they were out of sight. I would make sure i'd wait a while before going to get it incase they were stood there ready to swarm me with their questions. My mum had made sure i had the foods i enjoyed and most of it seemed like comfort foods like chocolate, fizzy juice, sweets, just the usual junk food. I spent my days curled up under my covers away from the light that entered my room, i couldn't seem to sleep because of the tiering nightmares that would take over my brain. They would start out good with me and Lily all happy but turn into frightening ones where she'd be ripped from my arms and take away by the monster who had killed her. In every nightmare the same person that took her life would be in it. I was mad at myself that i didn't get to take a proper look at him before the incident, i tried loads of times to figure out who i would be, but nothing came up.
I stayed in my room for at least three days without sleep, i kept myself to myself. I could tell my mum was getting worried about me as she would knock on my door, using that soothing voice she had to convince me to open the door and let her in, but i wouldn't, i needed time. During the three days i heard nothing but knocks at the door. I heard the faint familiar voices of family members mumbling to my parents from down the stairs and they sounded heartbroken. I would hear some of them in the hall asking my parents where i was but they would just answer that i needed space for the meantime and that i'd come around. I was suprised to hear Jacks voice in the hall almost three times a day, asking my parents where i was and how was i doing, his questions sounded sad and concerned but i couldn't face him either.
On the fourth a of hiding away i decided it was time for me to face my fears and answer the questions that were coming my way. I used all my strengh to pull myself out of bed and i streached every bone in my body until i was satisfied. I walked weakly over to my curtains and pulled them apart, and was blinded by the powerful sunlight that hit me making me feel dizzy. I took a few steps back to regain my conciousness and looked through squinted eyes to see the back garden lit up beautifuly by the blue sky. I could feel a slight smile forming at the sides of my mouth from the stunning scenery and i could feel then how dry my lips had become. I licked them feircefully t make them all nice and moist and once i was done i continued my Journey to the bathroom. I was stopped in my tracks when i had glanced over at myself in the tall mirror, i looked worse than a couple of days ago. My eyes were tiered and had dark grey-blue bags which hung heavily beneath them, my face was pale and my cheeks didn't hold any of the redness they had, my hair was all over the place and my clothes were old and ragged. I gasped at the sight and almost sprinted to the bathroom to sort the mess that had become 'me' out.
I had come out of the bathroom feeling fresh and clean. I looked back into the mirror to see that i looked better than before and it made me smile a little. My hair hung loosely around my shoulders, my face and cheeks had brightened a little and my eyes had softened ever s slightly. I smiled into the mirror and could see my pearly white teeth smiling back. I dressed myself into a long, clean button-up shirtad black leggins and my colourful socks. I placed a bit of blusher onto my dime cheeks and a bit of mascara to bring out my heavy eyes and placed my blonde hair into a high ponytail. Once i was happy i headed to the door feeling nervous. I opened the door with one of my shaking hands and stepped outside and was hit by the homely smell we had. It smelt of light vanilla and strawberys. I gained confidence in myself and started padding down the stairs. I headed into the kitchen to be met by two sets of eyes looking at me suprised. I gave them both an asuring smile and walked over to make myself a strong cup of coffee. I could feel my parents glares boring into my back, but tried my best to ignore them.
