Risking It

Not running away.

I'm not running away. I'm running to.

Tears streak down my cheek as I watch the sun come up. I finally did it. I finally left. I packed all my stuff, lots of money and loaded up in the car. I thought me driving away would be joyful and I would feel nothing else.

But I feel a little broken. I look back, I didn't give my brother enough hugs. I forgot to thank my parents. I hadn't even really bothered to tell my friends today was the day I would be leaving. But hell, I didn't know.

I had woken up at midnight, and the time felt right. And I called my dad, and I told my family that I was leaving for a bit. I had held back tears as I said, "I'll be home in three months. I love you guys."

But now there was no point in holding back tears. I was changing and so was my life.

Hours and hours on the road. Watching houses go by and staring at the road ahead. It was beautiful. Rough in some parts and smooth in others. I flew past other cars. And I thought to myself, "None of these people know who I am. They have their own lives."

Music was my company and even though I had begun the ride crying. I sang along and by the time I stopped at a hotel to sleep. It all felt so very right.

I checked in and wandered off towards my room. Not really in much of a rush, just enjoying life. I was room 234, a crappy room in the back corner of the second hallway.

The bed squeaked when I sat down on it, and the shower had a bit of mold. And yet, I still thought it was unearthly beautiful. I opened the blinds on the only window and watched the stars and moon until I was barely awake.

BRINNNGGGG

Who the flippity fuck calls at midnight?????

I listen to it ring two times, then I slowly inch my way out of the bed. I didn't wanna walk over to where my phone was slowly charging, therefore the only logical decision was to roll.

"Hello?"

"ARTI?! WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU FUCKING HIDING OUT YOU FUCKING ASS!"

Ah the joys of hearing you're true friends on the phone, all yelling at you.

"Hand me the phone." Shit she wasn't really gonna give Jesús the phone was she???

"Artemis. ¿Dónde demonios te has ido? Todos estamos sentados aquí preocupados! Espera, mierda estoy despotricando en español!"

After Jesús finished all my friends took turns yelling at me. Wren was pissed I left without saying goodbye. Jesús wanted to know where I was and if I was okay. Cayden seemed more upset than I'd ever heard him. And Damaris said she was gonna kick my ass (I'd like to see her try was my response but she could if she wanted to.)

Once they had hung up, I couldn't even imagine sleeping. So, for the first time in a long time, I decided to go out to a bar without friends by my side.

I don't know how it happened but I shots of vodka managed to keep going down my throat. No idea how, but I was wasted within the hour. I wish I could remember what happened after that, but I can't.

All I know is I woke up with a massive headache and in someone else's bed, with her naked and me wearing a Hawaiian shirt.

It was a damn nice house. Two stories, big glass windows and best of all, lots of food. Well I might as well eat while I'm here. I made pancakes lathered with butter and syrup dripping, and enough bacon to feed even Cayden. And I left the house without a word, leaving plenty of dirty dishes and stealing the poor girls fancy wine bottles.

Dropped by to the hotel to get me bag, and I found the room a mess and note with "To Artemis"

Wowie wow wow. Hop you rememmber her tomorrow. You learned two things tonight. 1. You like girls a lot a lot. 2. When you feel sad go out for a drenk. It makes it all beter
- love me (arti)

Sometimes, I even surprised myself. After reading the note, I laughed so hard I was one the floor gasping for air.

Time to get back on the road.