Eternity «Ziam AU»

Epilogue

“You ready, babe?” The older one asked his boyfriend, putting a calming hand on his thigh. He could see that he was trembling and he understood why.

Nodding, the younger boy took a deep breath. “Yeah. I’m a little nervous, though. It’s been a year today.”

“I know… But don’t worry, I’m here if you need me.” He leaned over to kiss his boyfriend softly, smiling when he felt some of the tension leave his muscles. “Come on, now. You’ve got the flowers?”

The two boys got out of the car and walked over the leaf covered stone path. The younger one grabbed his boyfriends in his hand that wasn’t holding the bouquet of bright red flowers. They made it to the spot and shared a sad look.

“Go on, babe. I’ll stay right here until you need me.” The older boy pushed his boyfriend forward gently, watching with a sad smile as he sat down on the green grass.

“Uh, hi, Liam.” He rubbed his hand over his face nervously. “Me as in Zayn. I mean, you probably knew that, right? I’m sorry, a bit nervous. Um, I brought you flowers, a bunch of different kinds in red because you love red. Well, loved. Shit, I don’t know.” He looked back at the boy that was with him for reassurance, smiling and turning back when he got an encouraging nod.

“I’m sorry it’s been a year and I’m just now visiting. I didn’t think I’d be able to come before now. I’m scared about it now, but I just… I had to come and see you.” Zayn’s voice cracked and he took a deep, calming breath. “I wasn’t ready before, I wouldn’t have made it this year had I came before, so please don’t be mad at me?”

He sat quietly, thinking about how Liam would tell him that he could never be mad at him at this moment. Laughing to himself, Zayn continued. “Speaking of making it, I’ve made it an entire year without you here with me, Li. It’s bittersweet, really. Like, I’m a love and pretty happy and getting better everyday. But then you aren’t here and it’s hard.” Zayn wiped away a tear, and then ran his hand down the tombstone that read ‘R.I.P Liam Payne, the love of my life. I’ll live for us both.’

“God, I miss you, Liam.” Zayn’s voice got low and raspy, tears falling steadily from his eyes. “It was so hard to do this, live without you. So many times, I wanted to just end it all. I cried so much. All the pain my parents put me through was nothing compared to the pain of not having you. But I did it for you, because you said you wanted me to live. I made a promise to myself that just the way you gave me eternity, I would use that eternity for all it was worth and stay alive. ANd I couldn’t have done it without Louis.” Zayn looks back at Louis who’s still standing where he promised to wait for Zayn.

“He’s been so good to me, Liam. Without him, I would have never made it, he kept me sane as best he could. And I know you told me to find someone to be with and all, but I’m terrified to tell you this. But I did find someone. And that someone happens to be Louis. He was there for me and he helped and it just happened, I hope you aren’t mad?” Again, Zayn knew that if Liam was there, he wouldn’t be mad at all.

Zayn sighed, staring longingly at Liam’s tombstone. “I went back to my house when they released me from the hospital, and Ruth and Nicola were there. They were talking to my mom and dad, and when I walked in, everyone was yelling at me. I was so scared, Li. But Louis came in and he told them all to shut the fuck up. Then he took me to my room and helped me pack before we went back to his house. And you were right, his family is amazing! They took me in like I was their own, especially his sisters.”

And the babies, Doris and Ernest, are the cutest little things ever. They made me want kids even more than I already did. So, Louis and I talked, and we decided that maybe we’ll adopt after Uni or something. And we decided we’d get a boy, and name him Liam James Malik. Malik because Louis said he would be like the son you and I never got to have, so he wanted him not to have his last name.”

Zayn knew he was rambling, but it’s been a year of not having Liam and he just wanted to talk to him as much as he could.

“ We also decided to leave the UK and go to Uni in the States. It was my idea, because I feel like I just need to be away from here. Like, there’s just so many bad memories here. Everything except for you is bad for me here, and I just feel like leaving would be best. Louis was the one who pitched the idea, and it took some time, but he finally convinced me that it’d be the best thing. So, we applied to a nice Uni in California, and we’re gonna get an apartment and live together there.”

Zayn smiled, thinking of the plans he and Louis had made for their coming summer and future. “I’m scared, but I think it’ll go well.” Zayn took a deep breath, turning and calling Louis over to where he was.

“Hey, Li.” Louis said quietly, sitting down next to Zayn. “I took care of him like you asked, better than any of us expected, I bet.” The two of them laughed and Zayn leaned his head on Louis’ shoulder. “We miss you, Liam. Especially Zayn. Sometimes, he just spaces out and gets so sad. And it honestly scares me. But he gets better and we just sit around and talk about you, you calm him down. Even now, you’re still the most important thing in his life. It’s amazing to see how happy he gets when he talks about you.” Louis kissed the top of Zayn’s head and stood up. “Ready?” He asks Zayn.

“Give me a minute.” Louis nods, going to start the car as he waits for Zayn. Zayn turns back to Liam’s tombstone and sighs. “I miss you, so so much, Li. But I’m happier now, so thank you for giving me that chance. I hope, wherever you are, that you’re doing good and you haven’t forgot about me. Because I know I’ll never forget about you, you still have my heart. Louis is only borrowing it for a bit, as he puts it.” Zayn stand up and leans to rub the top of the head stone. “Alright, Li, I gotta go. Thank you, and I love you so much. I’ll be sure to come see you before we leave for America. Bye, babe.”

And Zayn walks away from the grave, getting back into the car with Louis. “Don’t cry, Zayn. He wouldn’t want you to cry.”

Zayn takes a deep breath and wipes his eyes. “You’re right.”

XXX

Liam smiles down at the site of his love and Louis sitting and talking to his head stone. He thanks Louis everyday for making Zayn happy and keeping him alive.

He’s happy for Zayn, he’s finally happy the way he’s always deserved to be. When Zayn get’s up to leave, Liam says, “I love you, babe. For all of eternity.”

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A/N: and that's all folks! i'm crying and i'm so sad for my babes, but this has been an emotional roller coaster that i'll miss riding! hope you guys liked this, and thank you for everything!

dedication to SofiaIbarra4 for nice comments!