Eternity «Ziam AU»

5. Memories

A/N: EXTREME TRIGGER WARNING THIS CHAPTER! PLEASE DON'T READ IF YOU'RE EASILY TRIGGERED! BE CAREFUL, PLEASE, AND TALK TO ME OR SOMEBODY IF YOU NEED TO, EVEN IF IT'S NOT ABOUT THIS!

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“Here, I brought Vicodin, Xanax, and Everclear.” Liam said sadly, sitting the bottles on Zayns dresser. “I love you, ya know?” He asked, sitting beside Zayn on his bed and wrapping him in a tight hug, kissing his head softly.

Zayn nodded. “I know, and I love you, too. So much.” He said, his voice breaking as a few tears escaped his eyes. He cuddled his face into Liams chest, sighing. “I’m not ready, Li.” He whispered, holding his boyfriend tighter.

“We don’t have to, babe. We can just keep dealing. Or we could run away, anything. We don’t have to do this.” Liam said, still wanting to convince Zayn not to go through with what they’d talked about.

“You don’t have to do this. Like, you deserve to live a happy life. You can go on and do that, I don’t wanna hold you back, ya know? Just because I’m doing this, doesn’t mean you have to. I want you to be happy, Liam.” Zayn sniffled, completely soaking Liam’s shirt with his tears.

Liam shook his head. “I won’t be happy without you, though. That’s why I’m doing it. If you insist on doing this, I’m not gonna live in a world where you don’t exist. You’re the only reason I stayed this long, I’m not gonna let you do this alone and stay behind after.”

Zayn kissed Liam with everything he had. “Do you remember when we met?” Zayn asked.

Liam knew he was stalling, he was afraid. So he played along, giving Zayn as much time as he could to change his mind. “Of course I do, babe.”

~~ FLASHBACK ~~

“‘That’s the thing about pain, it demands to be felt.’” Zayn quoted. He’d read The Fault in Our Stars enough times that he could recite the entire thing, but he knew that this one line was sufficient. The class had diverted all of their attention to him, and he kept going. “I’ve never experienced much physically painful, but I do know what emotional pain is all too well. And I know it rips you open, eats you from the inside out. It’s unavoidable. No matter how hard you try to numb it and forget about everything that hurts you, it’ll be there.” Zayn looked around the room, at all of the eyes staring back at him. Some in pity, some in confusion, but most just careless. Then he caught one pair of eyes. And they were different. They were understanding. Zayn looked straight into those knowing brown eyes and finished, “Lurking in the background, silently chewing away at your insides, waiting until you let your guard down just enough that it can come back full force and destroy you all over again.”

The class was quiet, even the teacher stunned and speechless. Before anything could change, the bell rung and Zayn got up from his seat and walked off. He was just reaching the front doors of the school when he heard someone call out, “Hey!” Zayn turned, seeing the boy he’d locked eyes with just moments before in class. “What you said in there, that was really inspirational and true. And honest, like, how you opened up and spoke from your own experience. It was good.” The boy complimented.

“Well,” Zayn said with a shrug. “Isn’t that what the lesson was all about?”

The boy nodded and held out his hand. “I’m Liam.”

~~ END FLASHBACK ~~

“Was the best day of my life. I found someone who could relate to everything I felt. I could never forget that.” Liam said. And it was true. He never went a day without thinking about the day Zayn gave the best damn speech he’d ever heard in their Philosophy class, the day he knew he’d met his soul mate.