Eternity «Ziam AU»

7. Apology

Dear Zayn,

Hi, babe. Uh, if you’re reading this right now, it means it worked. Sort of. I know you’re probably really pissed and maybe you even hate me right now, but I swear I have a good reason for this.

You deserve a full and happy life, Zayn. Yes, I know you always said that your life can only be happy if I’m in it, but even without me, you still have to try. I was actually hoping that we could make it together, that we could both live, but I guess things don’t always go as planned, right? Now, before you get upset and start saying how we said we’d end this together, just let me tell you why I decided to do this.

I said I’d die with you, because had you only died, I would have been dying soon after. But Zayn, we couldn’t have a life together, a family together, we couldn’t have lived happily together if we weren’t living. We both know what we really wanted was to live happily ever after with our perfect family. Well, we had to stay living to do that. So, I called Louis and told him about what we were planning. And I asked him to help us.

I know you probably think I did it like this I on purpose, with you being alive and me not, but I didn’t. When I told Lou to come, I asked him to try to keep us both alive. But I knew there was a pretty big chance that only one of us would be able to get help. So I told him if they could only work with one of us at a time, to make sure they got to you first.

Please don’t be too mad at me, okay? You mean the world to me, Zayn, and I had to keep you alive. I know you’re not gonna wanna stay now that I’m gone, but please try? For me? I gave Louis money that I took from Ruth and Nicola for you. That’s why he’s there. Not to like, give you the money and leave, but Louis promised me he’d help you feel better. So, I don’t want you to have to go back to your parents and deal with them anymore… And that’s where Louis comes in.

You’re gonna go live with Louis, okay? Louis family isn’t like our families were, his family is accepting and loving and they’ll be good to you. And don’t worry about thinking you’re bothering him or anything, he’s the one that offered to do this for us. Louis is gonna keep you safe and happy, so don’t fight him on it, okay?

I love you so much, Zayn. And I’m waiting for you. But live your life, please. Don’t cut your time short, don’t give up. Just stick with Louis and be happy, I don’t wanna see you here for a long time, you don’t deserve to be ripped from your life so early. Live it through and live it good. Live for both of us, yeah?

I almost forgot. I know you’re thinking about school and all, but don’t worry about that. I paid for you to go to school online. So you’ll be home and still get your diploma and it’ll be just like normal, only on the computer and away from all of those assholes at the school. And after school, I want you to go to Uni. Like I said, a full life, Zayn.

I love you, so much. I always will love you, but don’t let that stop you from anything. If you find someone that makes you happy, be with them and be happy. All I ask is that you don’t forget me, okay?

Sorry for putting you through this and sorry I couldn’t be there with you anymore, but you’ll be perfectly fine, babe.

This is your eternity. I promised.

I love you.

Liam xx

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: so if you couldn't tell, that was liam's letter to zayn. if you didn't understand it from what he said, he did NOT mean for both of them to do, he just wrote the letter in the likely event that only zayn lived.

dedication to isnt_harry_lovely bc this is her explanation for liam and his promise to zayn