Roses

Part 4

-five months later-
After I was with the boys for three months,I was back in Munich for a while because the guys were on their world tour. My job was to connect with Luke on social media. I was following them on every single platform, they were following me. I liked Lukes pictures, commented them, he did the same. I had to go on tour with them while they were touring trough Germany, France, Denmark and Switzerland,then I had to wait a few dates and then I could join them in Germany again and I was allowed to be with them at most of the USA dates. Luke and I would meet again at the Munich show. I had to admit I was excited to meet them again. They kind of grew close to me. Only a few days had to pass and I would see them again, the day of the concert also was the day of my 19th birthday.
The days went by slowly. Luke and I texted each other a lot, telling each other how happy we are to be together again and for him to safely throw up again. This wouldn't ever leave him. I haven't seen them in three months. It was hard seeing them leave.
Another day passed. Today I had a photo shooting for some magazine. My mom now had a boyfriend. She was all over him and with him all the time so I was alone a lot of the time but Luke and Calum always tried to cheer me up once we were awake at the same time.
One day closer to meeting them. Only two days to go. Today I went to the gym and met with a friend later.
The last day. I had a lazy day at home, watching movies. I just made some popcorn when my phone vibrated. Luke tweeted something. 'One day to go. I miss you.' he uploaded a photo of him pouting with it. I liked it, replying 'It's only one day :) I miss you too' He instantly liked my reply.
The day of the concert. Mom woke me up, holding cake in her hands, singing happy birthday. I thanked her. We sat at our dinner table, eating it. "Are you okay honey? You don't look good." Mom asked. Great. That was the last thing I wanted to hear. "No, I'm fine." I lied to her. I was nervous as hell. I could throw up.
Later Mom and I went for a walk. My heart was beating faster and faster the closer the concert came. The closer I was to meet Luke. Mom was talking about her boyfriend the whole time.
When we got home again, my mom decided to watch a movie, so I was able to go upstairs to take a bath and get ready after.
When I was ready my mom offered to drive me to the venue. I was wearing black skinny jeans and a wine red blouse. My heart was beating 100 mph. I was sure of that. As soon as we arrived the location I went up to the doorman, telling him I was on the guest list. He checked it and called for another guy to bring me to VIP. We passed a room. I could smell Lukes perfume. He must have been in there not too long ago. I was still feeling like I was about to throw up. My whole body was shaking. I wasn't even able to focus on the opening band. Sorry for that by the way.
Suddenly everything turned black. I felt the goosebumps rising on my skin. The people around me grew silent. Then you could hear a guitar. The lights went on exactly the moment when Luke shouted 'take my money' Into the microphone. The crowd cheered.
After the song, Luke started talking. "Hey we're 5 seconds of summer! I hope you'll have a great time today!" And they started with the next song. Three songs later, they started chatting with each other. "So Munich has been great so far. Don't you think so guys?" Luke said. "The beer has been great." Calum said. "Oh we know it has been great, it's not like you haven't bern talking about it the whole day." Ashton said. "Let's tell them Luke huh?" Michael said laughing. Lukes eyes were roaming through the room. "So today someone very special is here. It's also her birthday so let's get her up here and sing for her? What do you think?" Luke said. The crowd cheered again. "Luna! Come up here!" Luke yelled, clapping his hands. A security guard got me out of the crowd, walking me towards the stage but as soon as Luke spotted me he started running. As did I. When we reached each other I jumped into his arms and he lifted me up, holding me tightly. We walked onto the stage and I hugged the rest of the guys too. "Let's sing for her!" Luke said, starting to sing happy birthday. I was standing on the stage, looking at him in awe. As soon as they finished singing, i went back to Luke, hugging him again.
Now I was waiting for them to finish the show backstage. It felt like ages but at one point, the door got ripped open and I had a Luke lying on me. Ashton, Calum and Michael came in later. I got up and hugged them again. "Hey guys." I smiled at them. All of us sat down on the couches that were standing in the room. "So how was tour so far?" I asked them. "Except for Luke getting on our nerves it was pretty nice." Michael said. "How have you been?" He wanted to know. "I've been fine. I missed you guys though." I answered. We talked for a while until we had to leave the venue to get to the next concert.
We went outside and Luke immediately took my hand in his. Somehow this sucked. We got into the bus and went to sleep pretty quickly. Only I wasn't able to sleep. I stood up and walked over to Lukes bunkbed. I tabbed his shoulder lightly and he woke up. "What's wrong?" He asked. "I can't sleep." I whispered. He slipped on the back of his bed, leaving some space for me. "The first night on a bus is weird i know." He answered, his voice as low as mine. I cuddled into his bed. He pulled me closed, giving me a small peck. I closed my eyes and the both of us opened them again shortly after. We looked at each other wide eyed. What the fuck just happened? "I don't know why I just did that I'm sorry." Luke said. "Let's just forget about it." I recommend. He smiled at me, nodding. "You want to hear a secret?" Luke asked. I nodded my head yes. "But don't be mad at me. You kinda know that I didn't really want you around that time okay?" He looked scared. "Okay what's wrong?" I wanted to know. "I remember that night." I pulled away from him slightly. "And I know that I was the one who kissed you and I'm sorry for that and I'm sorry for lying i was just scared that Tina might be mad at me and the band and I just couldn'd risk that." I relaxed again. "I get that. But what I wanted to ask you since that day. Tina said something like you should be careful, you know what happened before. What exactly happened?" I asked. He swallowed hard. "One time I was supposed to have a pr girlfriend too. I met her a few times and she was pretty hard to work with so I just acted something out. She... uhm... she said sho would hurt herself if I don't love her but you know feelings are feelings and I can't really just force to have feelings for someone so I just told the management and they got rid of her." He tried not to look at me. "What do you mean they got rid of her?." I asked. "She's at a psychiatric hospital now. Believe me, I'm truly sorry for that. I wouldn't be able to do something like that again." He said, touching my face softly. "It's okay, I guess. You wouldn't have known that she would do something like that." I said to him, taking his hand into mine. But what were we doing right then and there. Something was feeling so right yet so wrong. We kept talking for a while until the both of us fell into a deep slumber.
I woke up in the middle of the night. Now I knew what the guys meant by 'sleeping in the bus is horrific.' What's important to that too is the fact that it's just way too hot if there are two people in such a small space. I got up and walked into the back of the bus, where the guys had some kind of TV room with their consoles and stuff like that. I let myself fall onto one of the beige colored seats. Outside I could see the sun being about to rise. We should be at the venue around 2pm. I sighed. Since I didn't know what else to do, i went up to the bus driver, asking him if we maybe could make a quick stop so I could go and smoke a cigarette. He did what I asked him for and we got into an halt. I jumped outside. We basically were in nothing. Nothing was around us, except for trees. I sat down on the ground, taking the cigarette I had brought with me between my lips. I lit it. I took a few drags but it was just too early, so I put it out again and jumped into the bus again and got back to the TV room or whatever this exactly was.
Calum was now sitting in it too. I sat down next to him. "Can't sleep either?" Calum asked. I shook my head no. "You'll get used to it." He said, taking one of the controllers in his hands. "What time is it?"I wanted to know. He took out his phone and looked at it for a short time. "Almost 6 am." He answered. "I think I might try and sleep a little bit more." I said. "Okay, just come back here if you're not able to." he smiled at me. I nodded my head and went outside to my bunk bed.
I woke up to Luke singing. Tired I crawled out of my bed, walking towards him. Michael was playing the guitar. I smiled softly. Luke pulled me on his lap, brushing away some of my hair. I took a look at my phone. It was already 9am. We were supposed to be there at 8. There must have been a lot of roadworks. Luke leaned his head on my shoulder. "Did you sleep well?" He asked. "It was okay." i shrugged my shoulders. "How about you?" I asked, turning to look at him. "At first it was nice but then more meh." he answered sighing. We just sat like that for a while, the guys made some music. I liked it like that. It was really nice being with them again. I never thought I could grow so fond of these people in such a short period of time.
After another hour of driving, we finally arrived the location.
Luke and I decided to go for some coffee. It was rather weird, being in Paris with Luke, my fake boyfriend. But I had to admit they had one of the best coffee I've ever drank. Luke was sitting beside me, one of his hands was resting on my thigh. People were passing by, not giving us a second look. I think we finally got to the stage, where we don't look awkward doing this anymore. I think it just feels more natural now than it did in the beginning. I got used to the fans and the fans got used to me. Of course some of them are still petty about it but most of them just accepted it or are at least happy for us. Though something felt different today. I looked over at Luke. "You okay?" I asked him. "Yeah, everything is fine." He said, smiling softly. "Are you ready for tonight? We basically have a night off because we only need to drive about 2 hours tomorrow."  Now his smile grew wide. "Where are you guys thinking to go?" I wanted to know. "I don't know yet, we're probably going to stay at the bus for some time and then we're going to have a look where we want to go after." Luke answered.
Later we went to the venue. A lot of fans were already waiting in front of it. The guys talked to them a little bit and took some photos with them.
The show was amazing as always. After it we returned to the bus. We got the stuff we needed and went to a petrol station. We got some alcohol and snacks. Then we went back to the bus. Everything happened quite fast and we got drunk pretty fast. Even I drunk this time. We were listening to music, dancing like fools. Calum and I were dancing together, when I lost my balance. I stumbled backwards and landed on Lukes lap. I wanted to get up again, telling him I'm sorry. "No it's okay." He said, silent over the music. He put his arms around me lightly. Feels like we only go backwards was playing in the background, the cold beer bottle he was holding in his hand, building the perfect contrast to the warmth of my skin. I felt his breath on my back, as I turned around to face him. He was smiling at me. Seconds after our lips met. When we pulled away from each other again, we smiled at each other, until we realized what just happened. I excused myself and so did he. He ran inside the TV room and I ran outside the bus. Shortly after, Calum came outside, sitting down next to me. "What's wrong?" he asked. "I don't know." I said, letting my head sink into my hands. Everything was turning. "Why are you crying then?" He wanted to know. Was I crying? I didn't even realize that I was. I wiped away my tears. Yes. .I was crying.  "I don't know." I said again.
I went back in and crawled into my bunk bed. I fell asleep pretty fast even tough it was pretty loud, it somehow worked.
The next day I stayed in there until we arrived at the next venue. I actually wanted to stay in bed for the whole day but I wasn't allowed to. I had to go with Luke, doesn't matter where I was going. Since he was ignoring me pretty much the whole day, I was simply walking behind him with a few meters between us, when we walked by a group of guys. "Hey hottie, where you going?" one of them said, grabbing my wrist, pulling me back. Luke abruptly came to an halt. Turning around to me. The guys were saying something but I was only focusing on Luke. I was able to see the fire burning in his eyes. "Let go of her." He said more calm than he was looking like. "Why should I?" The guy who was holding onto my wrist asked sounding mean. "Because she's mine." Luke said. Suddenly he punched the guy who was holding me. I screamed. Some bodyguard came running towards us, tearing Luke away from the guys. I just looked at Luke wide eyed. "Are you okay?" I asked. He still looked at the guys with a bad expression on his face and spitted on the floor. "You're asking me if I'm okay? Luna, are you okay? Because that's actually the only that matters to me." He said, growing more and more silent with every word he said. Looking at me concerned. "I'm fine but did they hurt you?"I wanted to know. He smiled down at me. "Are we done asking each other if we are okay yet?" He asked. I smiled at him nodding my head. "Are we okay again?" He put an arm around me. "I think so yes." I walked a little bit closer to him. "Great because I really want to mess this up again." He said, leaning down to kiss me. That was different. That was wanted. That was planned. I put my arms around him and I just felt my stomach explode. Was that what mom was talking about when she told me about her boyfriend? Because if so, I get her. I get her so much.

That day something between me and Luke has changed. We didn't only act like it, we actually felt it. Not knowing how this would end, we just jumped into it. Even though I should have known better.