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☽ ☾
dear tom,
hi. i know i broke your heart when i said we couldn't be together anymore. i could hear you crying on the other side of the door. i cried with you.
i'm so sorry. please just know that i always loved you. i loved you since the first day i met you in freshmen year.
before i shut the door on your face, you asked me why. here's your answer.
i wasn't doing okay. i hadn't been for the past five months of our relationship. i haven't been okay since the world learned about our love.
people were hurting me. they said i wasn't good enough for you and that i was just using you. i didn't believe their words at first but they began to kick in. the feelings of not being worthy were growing. and i kept acting like i was happy. i didn't want you to know.
please don't blame yourself for any of this. ever since i met you, you made me the happiest girl. tom, you are my soulmate. i love you oh so much and i hate myself for breaking up with you but i wanted you to move on and i wanted you to hate me so you wouldn't be sad when you hear about my death.
tom, I love you. please find someone good for you. take care of them. let yourself move on if you haven't already. you're going to be okay. surround yourself with your friends. don't distance yourself from harrison, zendaya, jacob, or anyone else. don't distance yourself from finding love.
i'll be watching you from above. i'm so proud of you.
i love you,
paisley
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