Short stories

Insecurity: A Speech

There are 7 billion people in this world. Everyone comes in different shapes and sizes, different skin tones, textures, features. We all want to act a certain way. We all want to look a certain way. We're all a little insecure. Even if we are the most confident person in the world, deep down we have a little bit insecurity. Sometimes we feel pressured by society, social media, even by people we know. We want to look like the models we see in magazines. We want to look as flawless as makeup guru that we see on youtube. We want to be as perfect as instagram filters make us appear. Why can't we be perfect?

Girl: Why can't I be perfect?

Subconscious: That's not the way life works.

Girl:Why not? I don't understand.

Subconscious: You should be grateful for what you have.

Girl: I am grateful!

Subconscious: You don't sound grateful.

Girl: I swear, I am! It's just that....

Subconscious: It just that you can't learn to accept yourself for who you are!

Girl: I don't understand. Why is it so difficult to love myself? To love every inch of my personality.

Subconscious: You want to be perfect. No one is perfect.

Girl: But everyone seems perfect. 

They all have porcelain skin, that has no texture at all. They all have full, red lips and bright, sparkling eyes. They make me feel plain and boring. sometimes I wish I looked like them.

Subconscious: But you're perfect just the way you are.

Girl: I'm not perfect! It's impossible to say that I am.

Subconscious: Why are you so obsessed with being perfect. It doesn't make any sense to me. Why can't you just accept yourself. Why can't you go one day without wearing any makeup. 

Girl: I'm insecure. I hate my personality. I hate the way I look. I hate everything about ME.

Subconscious: You keep everything inside so you don't say anything stupid. You think of yourself as unintelligent. Why? You get really good grades. You have so many talents that you haven't even discovered yet. You are just starting to figure out who you are.

Girl: What do you see in me. Why do you see me as perfect?

Subconscious: Because you are.

Girl: You're lying! You're lying right to my face, and I can tell!

Subconscious: I'm not lying!

Girl: Yes you are! Everyone lies. I ask them to tell me the truth, but they don't. You know me. You are me. I thought you would understand that I can't accept compliments that are given to me.

Subconscious: Why can't you accept them?

Girl: How could I accept something i don't believe? I just can't. I hate that I can't. When someone compliments me I want to ask why? What makes me so special? Obviously, I just accept the compliment. Or at least that's what THEY think.

Subconscious: Why don't you believe the compliments people give you?

Girl: Because whenever I look in the mirror all I see are imperfections. I can't see past them. Sometimes I look at myself and think about all the features I would love change about my face, my body, my personality. I want to scream at my reflection. Why can't you be perfect?

Subconscious: It's what's on the inside that counts.

Girl: But, I have a horrible personality.

Subconscious: You're wrong, you know. You have a wonderful personality

Girl: What's so great about the person that I am.

Subconscious: Well, you're kind, considerate, you put others before yourself. You're a very likeable person.

Girl: I'm mean, greedy, I only think of myself. No one likes me.

Subconscious: Is that really how you see yourself?

Girl: (Silence)

Subconscious: Of course it is. You obviously can't see how great of a person you are.

Girl: Does a great person feel sad all the time? Do great people feel like everyone hates them? Do great people feel bad for themselves?

Subconscious: Yes, even great people have bad moments.

 Girl: I sometimes wish that I could tell someone about the way I feel. But, I don't want them to feel bad for me. And I don't want them to think that that i'm conceited. I just want to get these thoughts out of my head. Those dark thoughts that swirl around in my mind and make me dizzy just thinking about them. Those thoughts that never sleep, never let me sleep. Those thoughts clawing at the walls of my brain, desperately trying to escape. Trying to find the key to the heavy door that locks my brain away. Locks the thoughts inside.

Subconscious: Wow, way to be dramatic. (slow clap)

Girl: I am not being dramatic! That's just the way I feel. I don't have any confidence. I'm too shy to actually speak to anyone. I get anxiety when I have to give a presentation. I'm too scared to actually speak my mind.

Subconscious: You're scared of being judged.

Girl: I'm scared of people hating me. I'm afraid of messing up. Losing everything, everyone. I'm afraid of being alone.

Subconscious: you're not alone, you have me.

Girl: You're right I do have you. The only problem is that you're a figment of my imagination!

Subconscious: actually I am a not a figment, I'm YOU

Girl: I feel like you're more of the opposite of me.

Subconscious: how exactly are we different?

Girl: well for starters, you definitely more confidence than I do and....

Subconscious: nevermind, I got off topic. Aren't we supposed to be discussing about your insecurities?

Girl: oh yeah, you're right.

Subconscious: So, are you still insecure?

Girl: insecurity doesn't go away. It will always be there, always a part of me. I can never remove that part, no matter how hard I try.

Subconscious: and there you go again, being dramatic as usual.

Girl: You are not helping.

Subconscious: Sorry.

Girl: Insecurity has been with me for most of my life.

Subconscious: Sad isn't it? If you could just accept yourself, you could be happy, y'know?

Girl: Yeah you're right.

Subconscious: R-really?

Girl: Yeah. this whole time i was only thinking of myself. I was being selfish, i'm sorry. You've helped me see that life isn't just about looks. Thank you, so much.

Subconscious: You're welcome.

Girl: I'm so happy i could just cry. (*fake cry*)

Outro: She tried to embrace me. I pushed her away. I dragged her back into my mind, into the darkness that is my brain. I slammed the door shut. I was sick of talking to her, to myself. I just wanted to lose my sanity on my own. Is that too much to ask for? For a moment, i thought, maybe this isn't a good idea, maybe I should let her back out. That thought soon faded and I locked the door behind me. I remembered to throw away the key.

The End