All OF Me

RayVen Meyers

"Alot of shit we can't get passed/ Like light or dark skin when it's just black"
-Angel Haze, "No church In the Wild (Freestyle)"

"RayVen you betta open your pretty brown eyes sooner than later sugarfoot. You got three strikes against you: you're fat, you're dark skin and you're a woman", Grandma Rose said, sticking the Milport cigarette between her thin lips.

Grandma Rose took a long drag then parted her lips, letting out a cloud of smoke.

She was already fifty years old but could easily pass for a thirty something year old woman. She stood at 5'7 with a light complexion and green eyes. Her hair was a golden color going all the way down her back. The figure she had was one that would make any female envious and any man lust after her flesh.

"I'm telling you this so that you know what to expect in this life. It definitely won't be easy for you. It's why I keep telling you to lay off all them sweet things your daddy got you eating when you leave here", She continued, glancing at me.

I nodded my head feeling the sting of tears threatening to surface as I listened to her words.

"Your mama ain't here nomore but you got me. That's what I'm here for to guide you and the road you heading into is diabetes. At ten years old, that ain't the way!", Grandma Rose wagged her fingers.

"Grandma Rose!"

My grandmother's head snapped into the direction that the sound came from. She hopped to her size nine feet and stormed off toward the familiar voice. By the look on her face; I knew who it was. Kheiry.

"Kheiry! Baby look how beautiful you are!", my Grandma exclaimed.

I headed for the kitchen where I knew my Aunt Leelah would be. Everytime she came over to my grandmother's house ,she made a bee-line for the kitchen. My Aunt Leelah was never a size 3 unlike my mother. Aunt Leelah enjoyed throwing down in the kitchen and enjoying the delicacies she concocted. Grandma Rose didn't agree with her diet plan or weight but Aunt Leelah was light skin. Grandma said Aunt Leelah's complexion and beauty was the main reason she snatched up Uncle Basil.

"Hey sweetie! How are you Rayven?", Aunt Leelah said between bites of a slice of coconut pie.

"I'm good Aunt Leelah", I smiled sweetly.

Grandma Rose was sending compliments Kheiry's way and playing with her head of curls. This was the norm for the two. Kheiry was everything that I was not. She was everything that was wrong with me.

Kheiry was slim with light skin, black curly hair and big brown eyes. She had a smile that could light up the room. Kheiry had a face that would take your breath away. The thing I liked most about my cousin was that she had a beautiful personality.

"RayVen you see the way Kheiry carries herself? You need to take notes girl", Grandma Rose yelled.

"Ma stop that! They are ten years old", Aunt Leelah commented.

"Do you know I met your father when I was their age? If I was carrying myself like Rayven does you might not have existed", Grandma Rose said, pointing an index finger to her temple.

Kheiry rolled her eyes and made a face behind Grandma Rose, making me double over with laughter.

The doorbell rang, taking the attention away from the outburst I had just made. Grandma's eyes slid from me to the direction of the hallway. Saved by the bell. She slipped out of the kitchen, going to see who was at the door.

"Rayven your daddy is here!", she yelled back.

I gave Aunt Leelah and Kheiry a hug then bolted to the front door. I was met with another scolding for running in the house.