A Lone Wolf • Mark Tuan

{Seventeen}

Waiting for Mark to answer you was more painful than the wounds on your body. Between the way he kept his eyes glued to the table and his fingers clenched against the sheet, you knew it was something serious. You hadn't been strong enough to hold back your howl, and now you were sure someone was paying the price.

When silence ensued, you pushed forward. "Is it Youngjae? Jackson? Are they hurt? Or worse?" Your voice was like sand paper against your throat. Water. You needed water, but not yet, not until you heard Mark's answer.

"It's not that. Jackson and Youngjae are fine. So are the others." Jaebum, Junior, and Youngjae are in the waiting room, and the others... They're fine."

Others? That was odd. Knowing Mark, he wouldn't want to bring up Jaebum, especially not with what happened. You could see it in the crease of his eyes and the way he avoided eye contact that he knew something had happened between you and Jaebum, but that wasn't it. There was something more.

You studied Mark's face. Something was wrong, but if everyone was fine, what could it be? A part of you wanted to ask about Jaebum and his pack, find out why they were here with Mark so civilly, but that could wait. There was something else Mark wasn't telling you, which worried you more.

"What is it?" You hated not knowing what had happened between your escape and now. It was like a void of black in your memory, and Mark, who could fill those blanks, wouldn't even give you eye contact. Was it really that bad?

"Mark." Your voice cracked, breaking against a wall of emotions. It hadn't been long since Mark pushed you away, and the pain was still fresh, but having him here with you now, looking so broken, drove you mad. "Please, just tell me. Just look at me."

Mark's eyes slowly moved up, scanning up your bruised body, tracing your pale neck, sliding over your jawline, and finally landing on your moistened eyes. He took a deep breath, the struggle on his plump lips apparent, lips that were yours not that long ago.

"You were..." Another deep breath filled Mark's lungs, and his voice was defeated. "You were pregnant, but there was too much damage done, too much blood lost. They couldn't save the baby." Mark's voice failed him, but he kept his eyes locked on yours.

Both of you... That explained it. They couldn't save you and the baby. You were now the one avoiding Mark's gaze, his eyes bearing into you, waiting for some sort of reaction, tears perhaps. How were you supposed to respond to news like that?

You felt empty, empty of emotion, empty of words.

Were you supposed to be mourning, crying over the loss of a child you never knew you had? Empty, in mind, body, and soul. Mark's eyes were still studying you, waiting for something to happen. Was he expecting this to break you, the weight of the new too heavy for your broken body? Was it normal for someone to cry over the loss of someone you never knew? You never cried over your great-grandmother, who died before you were even born.

Empty of tears, of sadness.

"Was it yours?" Those were the only words you could manage, and even then they sounded numb. Of course the child was his. There was no one else before him, and only Jaebum after.

Mark's hands slipped around yours, a comforting gesture that you missed. "The doctor says you were only four weeks along."

You nodded. "Yes, of course it was yours. There was no one else before." Mark knew that. He knew you hadn't dated before for, at least not for a long, long time. He knew the baby had been his. When did he find out? Did he know before it was too late? Did he have a moment to hope he would be a father? Did he cry over the loss of his child?

Mark squeezed your hand, and in that small motion, you knew he was sorry, pained, and confused, but he was here for you now, when you really needed him. This left you wondering. Did you still really need him? He had broken your heart after all, but that didn't stop you from loving him, but then there was Jaebum. He cared, too, right?