"It's not about love, it's all about revenge"
Monica
"Monica." My heavy head lifted slowly seeing the face I see every Thursday after work. My therapist, Dina.
"I'm ready for you now." She spoke showing two rows of white teeth. Her honey brown hair brushed against her neck as she pranced towards her office putting her left foot in front of her right.
I followed her after collecting my items. As soon as we entered her bright, earth-toned office, I instantly smelled vanilla bean coffee.
"Thirsty? I just made it not to long ago. It's still hot." She questioned closing the wooden door behind me.
"No." I answered dryly setting my stuff down while taking a seat on the fine leather couch that sat firm in the middle of the room.
"I've got muffins and donuts in the microwave. But if you're not hungry let's get started." She sat across from me with her notebook and my file. The same file she had been updating every since I'd been coming here for almost a year now.
Why do I even need a therapist? I'm fine. Or at least I think I am. I guess I'm one of those people that keeps their feelings bottled up and suffer quietly inside. I tell myself everyday that I'm okay when in reality I'm far from being fine.
Everything in my life changed the day I found my nephew tied up in a hallway closet, the person that took me in when no one else wouldn't dead on my living room floor, and an empty crib that once contained my two week old baby boy.
All that was left in the crib was a teddy bear with a note attached that read 'I won'. I've never been the same since that day.
That was the day I became empty. It felt like everything I had once asked god for had been snatched away from me by the devil.
For so long I had been wishing and praying for a child and once I finally have on he gets taken from me in the blind of an eye.
After that incident I became an entire new person. I know longer felt alive. I had sunken into a deep hole and became depressed. So depressed I didn't eat for days. I passed out due to hydration and was sent to the hospital. From there Dr. Jax prescribes me anti depressants along with vitamins. They don't change a damn thing. I still walk around this place called earth feeling like a lifeless zombie.
My depression became so bad Dr. Jax went as far as making me see a therapist weekly. Which is why I'm here today. But this doesn't help either.
I don't know why he thought talking to a random person about my problems would make me feel better.
But I still continue to go to my appointments anyways just because it will give me someone to talk to since I hardly talk to anyone. Not even King.
He and I don't have the best relationship anymore, or shall I say marriage. We've become distant. Extremely distant. The 'I love you's' turned into a simple peck on the cheek and the 'good nights' turned into a smile then roll over to the other side of the bed. Some days we walk past each other and not say a thing.
I looked down at my phone seeing King's name along with a picture of him and our daughter roll across my screen. I sighed and declined it.
My love for King is still growing strong, don't get me wrong its just something that we lost for each other.
But I guess all married couples go through this stage. Right?
"Monica." Dina; my therapist called out pulling me from my deep thoughts I began to get lost in.
