Homecoming

08

"You listening to me?"

"Of course."

Kori continued to babble about fruit flavored foods, specifically the unlikeness of the taste from their real counterparts. Every once in a while my eyes would meet hers on the rearview mirror, and I would offer a nod. Ninety-nine percent of my concentration was on the road while my sweaty hands gripped the steering wheel. I drove like I was carrying a learner's permit, and on a double secret probation with precious cargo.

"Why are you taking me again?"

"Your dad is caught up with something at work, so he asked me to take you."

"Why can't Matti take me?"

"I don't know." I pulled into the parking lot of the dentist office, and only after securely parking the car did I turn around to face her. "Who's Matti?"

"My babysitter." She answered without looking up, attempting to unbuckle herself from the booster seat.

I caught myself before asking more questions regarding Matti and reached out to help her, all the while mumbling my irritation at why couldn't Matti take her.

After locking the doors, I took deep breath and turned to Kori. "Let's go."

She put out her hand, palm up, and I stared at it dumbfounded.

"Hand."

"Why?"

"Can't walk across a busy parking lot on my own. Duh."

Nevermind that there were four cars in the parking including the one we came in, but from our position to the steps leading up to the door of the building was hardly across a busy parking lot as she claimed.

"Hand, Verne! You shouldn't walk on your own either."

We walked together, her little hand holding on to my hand for dear life, and she didn't let go until we were inside. I was grateful Kohl had called ahead to spare me from the awkward explanations, but I didn't miss the curious glances the receptionist was throwing my way. If I knew Matti existed, then I would've fought harder to get out of this task, and the longer I sat there the angrier I became. I wanted to give Kohl some serious third degree, but it wasn't going to happen because I didn't want to get involve any deeper in Kohl Danford's life.

Kohl, however, seemed to think otherwise. Things had been different ever since our little misunderstanding was cleared—to the point it had been somewhat uncomfortable. If Handen wasn't such a small town, then I'd accuse Kohl of stalking; he was everywhere. He dragged me to every outing around town as if I wanted to see the very people I wanted to get away from when I left three years ago. He even started to randomly drop by my parent's house on my days off, which delighted mom.

The drive home was just as nerve-wracking as the drive to Kori's appointment, and I could only sigh in relief when I saw mom waving at us from her garden when we arrived. All thoughts about the unknown babysitter diminished until Kori brought it up.

"Your mom's here! Think she'll make cookies with me again?"

"She might."

"Think I can take some home? Matti didn't make any for me last time."

"I don't see why not." I unbuckled her from her seat. "So Matti bakes too, huh?"

"Yeah! Sometimes we have sleepovers too!"

"Where?"

"At our house. Matti sleeps on daddy's bed."

She jumped out of the car, yelled her greetings to mom, and ran to the tire swing with Camus at her heels. I made my way over to mom and squatted down next to her. Mom smiled at me and continued to work, and I watched in silence until I couldn't handle it anymore.

"What are you even planting? It's going to snow soon."

"Spring bulbs." She paused and pointed at another set of gardening gloves near my feet. "Put those on and help me."

"Mom, really? You know I hate bugs, and I don't even want to think about a spider crawling inside the gloves."

She shook her head, playfully bumping her shoulder against mine. "My little Verne, still afraid of spiders. You haven't grown up after all these years."

Her words visited hidden rooms of insecurities, the ones I locked away at the back of my mind, and it made me stiffen in response. The smile on mom's face disappeared when she noticed.

"Oh, honey. You know I didn't mean anything by that. I was just—"

"No, mom. It's not you." I smiled at her. "I mean, I feel like I haven't really grown up. I don't mean in the physical sense, you know? More of being responsible and manning up kind of growth."

It poured out and I tried to swallow the words. My brain was working itself in a panic, but my heart was more than eager to share.

"When I sense things getting complicated, I always run away without thinking of the consequences because I don't want to face it. I put enough effort just to get by without really moving forward, and it just feels like I'm in constant limbo."

"Leaving Tony is not running away, Verne. We may not ask about it, but your father and I know. You did the right thing by leaving him and coming back home."

I shook my head. "Tony's just a small part of it."

"I'll tell you something else." She took off her gloves and sat on the ground facing me. "Mistakes and regrets are part of life. You know what matters about those experiences?"

My mouth opened ready with my best guess, but she had no interest in hearing my answer.

"What you take away from those experiences is what matters."

"That's the thing mom—I never learn!"

"Acknowledgment is the first step. You're doing fine, Verne. Everyone goes at their own pace."

It was ludicrous to fear my mother judging me when she had always been my ally. She pulled her gloves back on and smiled. I found myself mirroring her smile while the relief settled within. I was so at ease that I even contemplated lending a hand with planting the spring bulbs. But as I started to reach for the extra pair of gloves, Kori began to screech my name repeatedly at the top of her lungs.

"Come on, Verne! Come push me!"

"You're being summoned." Mom chuckled.

Kori and Camus bounded towards me scattering orange leaves in every direction along the way. She met me half way to the tire swing, and as she told me a story about squirrels' winter habits, my phone started to ring.

"Is that daddy?"

"No." I ignored the call and shoved it in my pocket. "Come on, I'll push you on the tire swing."

Camus leaped and barked while Kori squealed and giggled, and I laughed along with them. The simple happiness they exuded was enough to drown out the incessant vibrations coming from my pocket.

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Thank you for being patient everyone & sorry for the large gap between updates.