Secret Identity- One Direction Fanfic

Chapter 14

Hey guys :) I know that I am a terrible person for not updating. I am not making excuses for myself. I went through absolute hell this school year and I should've come here to express myself instead of curling up in a ball and crying myself to sleep. I just want to explain myself to you guys even though it doesn't make up for it. I have been depressed for a whole year now and nothing has made it better. I always think that writing will make it better, but with depression you just don't feel motivated to do anything. I still haven't got my shit together, but I am trying and I will update more.

I will be removing my other two stories. I am going to edit them and after I will repost. I will repost them when I finish this book. I am almost finished writing this book and I will try to update about twice a week starting next week. Updates will be on Wednesdays and Saturdays. Anyways, on with the book!!!

Harry's POV

It has been a week since the funeral. It's been a week since I found my Lexi again. It's been a week since I found a way to piece my life back together.

I am really worried about Lexi because she has been so distant since the funeral. I am just worried that she isn't coping well and no matter how many times we try to talk to her it doesn't help. She just pushes us away and goes into her music room.

Anne and Gemma left yesterday. They didn't want to, but I made them. I didn't want them to loose their jobs or for Gemma to miss school. They both made a ton of food for us to eat. I know that lex won't eat any though. It's gotten worse than before. I haven't seen her eat a scrap of food for three days.

I am running out of ways to cheer her up. I think that I need to talk to a friend of mine. She may be able to help Lexi stop starving herself.

In the mean time I grab Lexi's guitar and try one more time to let her know that I am here and will not leave this time. I go up to her room and walk in without knocking. She looks up from her book surprised.

"Harry, get out. I don't want to talk to anyone right now." I simply start strumming her guitar. The lyrics from moments roll off my tongue. I know it is going to make her cry, but it will help her.

By the end of the song we are both crying. I sit on the bed with her and hold her. Slowly I rock us back and forth while humming moments on a loop.

Lexi's POV

Harry singing Moments to me and just holding me helped a ton. I am still sad, but I go down stairs to see my whole family there. I smile at them as they engulf me in a hug. We sit there and watch a comedy. It felt good to laugh for once in a very long time.

This past week all I have been doing was crying and looking at pictures of my brother and I. My brother, sister, and parents run through my mind constantly. I am 19 and planned 3 funerals. No one this young should go through this much pain and anguish.

I start crying and run out of the room. I cannot be weak. I have cried in front of these people enough to last a life time. I hear a stampede behind me and push harder. I am in the back yard and run through the lush grass until someone grabs me around the waist. Liam! I writhe and yell at him to let me go with no progress. He sets me back down on the couch and they all look at me expectingly.

"I am not going to do it." I say looked them in it eye sternly.

"What aren't you going to do Lex? be emotional? share your grief? be human? I am so tired of you just shutting us all out! so many times I try to get you to open up to me, to us and you just shut down like a robot! you need to rely on us and let us help you!" Zayn of all people yells at me.

"I don't trust anyone." I say deathly quiet.

"Why don't you trust anyone!?!" Lily yells this time.

"Trusting means caring and believing the person will not hurt you. I trust you Lily, but that's it. You all have to earn it and guess what Harry. You have to work even harder because you are the reason I am like this. I shut down because crying shows that you are hurt. Hurt people are weak and weak people are mocked and used. Emotions allow vulnerability and vulnerability is a weakness. You happy now? I gave you the ability to earn my trust and love, but it doesn't come free." I sit down and un-pause the movie. Everyone else slowly followed my lead.

These people think trust is just given to you. Some people might give it away, but not me. You have to earn my trust.

After the movie everyone files to their respected rooms and goes to bed. Except for me. I go to my music room and just play a couple of songs until I hear a noise behind me.

I look back to see Louis. I smile softly and beckon him to come sit with me. We play a couple songs and sing.

"You know that we are trying and Harry is trying the hardest." Louis sighs after a while.

"I just uh find it hard to trust people especially him after the uh incident. I want to, but something always holds me back." I explain to Louis knowing that out of all the boys he is the one I trust the most.

"Life is a mixed bag of goods and bads. If you always look for the bad it will always out weigh the good." after that Louis silently gets up and leaves.

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HEY GUYS!!! I know this chapter is short, but it had a cute Louis and Lexi moment in it :) I promise to try and make the story happier!

LOVE YOU GUYS please vote and comment! it means a lot and I always read them :)