"in an alternate life i think we could have done things otherwise;
done them differently,
became the people we were meant to be instead of
the shameful masks we slipped upon ourselves.
/
in an alternate life: we could have been worth it—
i won't say better even though that's on the tip of my tongue,
and honey, i won't say better
because that word is much too heavy for my mouth right now
but i will say that i still buy your brand of cigarettes
even though my asthmatic lungs and my desolate lips have never touched a single one for themselves.
/
(marlboro black 100s because you always had to be the end to her beginning or the truth to her lie)
/
i won't say that we slept peacefully, that we were comfortable,
because how can one dream of peace in a warzone,
but you always returned home intact; a beautiful burden
of bones and flesh stitched together just for me,
and perhaps that isn't love,
but you can't dare tell me it isn't holy."
