Lilly In The Storm

Chapter Thirteen

       As soon as the car makes a halt in our bumpy, dirt driveway, I swing the door open to approach the house. I had too many emotions swirling through my head to deal with my parents. Out of all the emotions in this hurricane of thoughts, I am most in disbelief. How could I do this to my family? How could I ever make it up to them? I may not be cut out for this whole family thing. This is the second family I've left disappointed, what if I am truly at fault?

       I shut myself into my room, leaving nothing but the sound of chirping birds from the windows. All I can do is simply lay in my bed and stare at the ceiling, sorting out the many thoughts in my head. But I cannot sort these out alone, it's too complicated. I need Zero's guidance, as I always do. What would I do without him? I am dependent to say the least. He'll help me to make the right choices for me, not for my parents or for anyone else.

       I sneak quietly down the stairs, to avoid capturing the attention of Mom and Dad. They notice, but don't say a word. They must not want to bother me right now. I shuffle into my snow pants then put on my winter coat. The freshly fallen snow crunches beneath my feet as I wander toward the dirt pathway leading through the forest. Because of the snow, it has gotten trickier to get to my swing due to the snow that leaves me trudging for longer than a normal walk would take. But that just means if someone were to come while Zero was out, we would hear them crunching the snow.

       Shortly after my arrival to the clearing, Zero pops his head out from the open shed doors. We share a warm smile then get down to business. I sit on my swing then start explaining the situation to him, maybe if he agreed with Mom I could have a safe return to reality. However, he promptly agreed with Jezz. He ensures me that what I did was the safest way of going about the whole thing. He reminds me that if life gets too much for me to handle, I have a bag locked and ready. I was prepared when we had packed the bag, but now I was unsure. What are his true motives? Is he truthfully on my side? Nevertheless, I trust him more than anyone. I have no one left to back me up, he's all I have. Whatever his motives are, they're my motives too.

       The visit didn't help my situation in the slightest, now I'm more confused if anything. The answers I received were not the ones I set out to find, but I guess that's just how life works. Opinions of others may contradict each other, but what I must do is follow the advice of the one I trust the most, Zero.

       Upon entering the house, I see Mom and Dad putting their shoes on. They look at me and grin, their smiles not quite sincere. As if they forced a smile on their faces in order to keep me happy. Is it really that bad? Do people really feel like they have to fake a smile to keep me happy? Am I even human to them or am I like a dog where you make your voice sound giddy to get a tail wag? It doesn't matter, if they feel they must then I'm not stopping them. Nothing will stop them after what I did.

       "Hey guys, where are we going?" I ask.

       Mom stops in her tracks. "Um, the ice cream shop." She smiles, refusing eye contact.

       Dad chimes in. "Yeah, we figured we'd take you out to calm your nerves."

       I flash them a weak smile. What is this random outing about? "Cool."

       Before I knew it, I was sitting, fiddling my fingers, in the back seat of our car wondering what this was really about. Most likely, they are out to get a good conversation about how I should behave better. It would explain why they're buttering me up with ice cream, but what if it's worse than that? No, it can't be. Why would it be?

       When we enter the shop things only become more suspicious. Mom informs me that I can get any sized cup I want, usually my cup size is restricted to only a small. Despite my suspicions, ice cream is ice cream! I happily pick out the biggest cup they have. Mom and Dad share a not so secretive nervous glance.