Lilly In The Storm

Epilogue

       It has been exactly one year since that day at the doctor's office. Those six months of testing were some of the hardest of my life. I was not allowed to come to school during testing so I basically had to be either home or at the hospital for the whole time. Being cooped up like that caused me to be more aggressive during that time, but without a diagnosis Mom and Dad couldn't fix my mood. In the end, it was paranoid schizophrenia. The news both thrilled and terrified us. We knew that it was a serious diagnosis that would have no cure. But we were glad to have a diagnosis so we could get treatment and bring to be as close to normal as possible.

       Once the diagnosis was set, I was able to get some medicine that would control my emotions. Along with that, the doctors suggested that I should stay in a mental asylum for a month in order to get the best treatment I could with therapists and such. It would help me get into the habit of taking my medicine and to get good counselor visits in so I could learn to control myself better. We agreed and a couple weeks after my diagnosis I was sent off.

       My stay wasn't as bad as the name 'mental asylum' may suggest. It was like summer camp for crazy people. They had a very nice room for me to stay in so I wouldn't feel overwhelmed. We had the option to eat in the hospital cafeteria or our rooms so we didn't feel forced into anything. A lot of my days were scheduled with individual and group activities. I would have a lot of visits with psychologists who helped me to understand my condition better. They also taught me how to control the urge to listen to my hallucinations and delusions. Once a week, I would be put into a group of kids around my age to discuss how we feel about our illnesses. The bummer was that my parents could only visit me, they weren't allowed to stay with me. Their daily visits made that a lot easier.

       Though I was unaware of it, I had left Hops behind when my parents found me on the street. Although it was an accident it was the best decision I ever made for myself, it helped to keep my past behind me. As for Jezz and Zero, I would be lying if I said I never saw them. In fact, they were with me every day of camp. Due to my medicine they appear less throughout the day and are less hostile. I am also aware that since they aren't real, I should ask for advice from an adult before I take their word for anything. As weird as it sounds, they were good company to have on lazy days.

       The day had finally come for my parents to take me home. I was beyond excited. The doctors told my parents that if I wanted, I was stable enough to return to school! The kids I was in class with were already halfway through fifth grade at the public school, so I decided I would return when sixth grade starts in the fall. This was for the best in my eyes, I would rather enter school again when everyone is moving up to middle school. It will take away the stress of being the new kid and will give me a chance to be in classes with all new kids who don't see me as my illness.

       The car pulled up to the home I had finally learned to love. I hopped out of the car then looked over to the pathway leading to my swing.

       "Honey, you want to come inside? We got you cake to celebrate!" Mom announced happily.

       "Hm, no. I'm okay, just give me a couple seconds." I tell her.

       "Alright, we love you." Dad says, going inside with Mom.

       I walked across the driveway then onto the path. The familiar clearing came into view as I walked. I looked at my swing then at the shed where I first met Zero. My gaze then went to the small area of dirt that Zero always wrote that special word. I spotted the stick he had always used then decided to write my own word on the ground. I filled the space with my writing then stepped back to admire it.

       "Found." I whisper to myself.

       My hallucinations and delusions caused me to lose sight of what was important to me. They had led me in the wrong direction, leading me through a thick forest with a fire at the end. Now, it was as if I had come across a mountain. I could climb it and look out at the entire forest that I had been meandering. I had found my way through it. There was a clearing at the end of the forest. I could finally live a life clear of woodland fires that damaged me.

       I'm finally free.