A/N:
{Warning: Talks about mental health and depression. Depression isn't a straight line it's not the same for everyone. For this, I mirrored my own personal battle with it and how I handle it.}
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Collins Baker Opens Up and Starts Fresh
Collins Baker has been a staple in the fashion industry since 2014 when she got discovered during an NYU runway show. Since then she's modeled for brand like H&M, Forever21, and higher up brands like Tommy Hilfiger and Dolce & Gabbana. But for the last few months Collins has disappeared. In 2015 she also made her acting debut in The Mentalist then on the Disney Channel Movie, Descendants. But in recent years Collins has been focusing on her modeling career.
After the events of her boyfriend, singer Ezra Williams, Collins revealed she started to suffer from depression and just wanted to be left alone from everyone.
She finally opens up about how she goes about with her depression, maintaining it and making sure it doesn't take over her life again, and what she's been doing since coming back to work.
Raw: You said that after everything that happened with Ezra and aftermath of it all you felt like something kept you down. Did your mind go to depression right away?
Collins: Not right away. At first I just thought I was just grieving Ezra. It was so fresh and sudden that it was all I thought about. But then I didn't want to get up from my bed or even eat. There was a week where I spent it all on the couch at my parents sleeping, only getting up to go to the bathroom. Then sleep again, it was around my birthday when my family had enough and made me go see a doctor. After a couple sessions with a therapist I was told I was depress. It would have came as a shocked to us if mental health problems didn't run in my family.
Raw: After being diagnosed what did you do?
Collins: I would love to tell you that I got better and worked to be better. But I didn't. I still felt upset then I got angry at my family for the littlest things. My brother would ask me if I wanted to go see a movie I would scream at him for bothering me. My dad would ask me if I want to help him with a project I would ignore him. It took a while for everything with me to catch up to what I knew. But when it did I started slowly to fix myself.
Raw: What did you do first?
Collins: Well I first started with a shower. Then I did something I hadn't done since everything started. I went to see Ezra, I couldn't go alone so my friends came with me. I swear they just sat with me in my dad's car for an hour before I could get out. I went to his grave and just sat down. I didn't say anything. I just sat there, I grieved, I remembered the good things. I remembered the bad things. I told him and myself that I wouldn't mourn anymore. I would go on with my life. I loved him and I always will, but I knew I didn't want to stay sad forever.
Raw: How do you deal with your depression now? And how do you deal with the hateful comments?
Collins: I take it day by day. Friday I have a therapy session with the therapist I saw back in Chicago. We talk on Skype and I just tell her about what's been going on with me. Even if it's a good day and I feel great I still tell her. With hate comments I just don't pay any attention to them. It comes when you're in the public eye. I got them before and I will surely get them until the end of my career. I don't reply to them unless it's something so observe that I can't let it slide.
Raw: Before we let you go what's next for Collins Baker? Will you be coming back to acting as some point?
Collins: A lot of things actually. And unfortunately I can't share any of them with you guys in details. But it is hopefully coming soon.
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