It's been 23 days since I've even touched this. My mental health is in a severe downward spiral. Everything is just
Fading
Away.
I'm. Going. Insane.
Nothing works anymore. I've desensitised myself to smoking because it just doesn't work. I've been tearing the shit out of my body and I've been telling my friends, and even worse, my girlfriend, that I've been clean.
It's all a lie. My legs ache when I move. I've used my fvcking razor so much that it's so dull it just rips. It's not the instant searing pain and heavy blood flow.
It's more like slowly cutting myself apart with chikd-safe scissors.
I've drank so much it's getting addicting.
My best friend knows people who sell the painkiller I want and need, and told them that if I ask, they're not allowed to sell me it and they're supposed to tell her. I can't even buy fucking ketamine!
I need this destruction.
I Deserve it
I'm unintentionally ripping anyone who cares away from me because I'm such a terrible person.
I've been losing so much weight, people are realising, and I don't like the attention.
The bullying for me being mute is getting so much worse.
People are threatening me but what the fuck can I do, I don't speak.
I want to be dead. So bad.
.
.
.
26/04/18
22:06
YOU ARE READING
brown eyes\\rant book
Diversos*intended lowercase and capitalisation* trigger warning *suicide, self harm, e.d, hallucinations, ?abuse?[Probably not but maybe mentions]* read at your own risk, stay safe
